Two genders Two Tails

Hey guys.

Sorry for the late post been extremely busy, on my week off I didn't really achieve anything, as I was just extremely tired and spent most of it in bed. I did present female twice but didn't go out. Last week we had a snow storm and I love snow. Where I lived snow isn't something that happens a lot and even when it does it's bad and not worth me getting ready and for the snow to stop and not stick to the ground, it happened and I went out.

 As the snow stopped and a little of rain kicked in which I made me mad and I decided to head back I walk about five minutes away from my house from the park where I was. When I got in the rain stopped and I decided to get ready for bed when I looked out of the window and the snow was coming down again... Gutted


The topic for this week is mainly about being able to have a masculine appearance and a feminine appearance which is a massive struggle and I'm still learning even now and will be forever on going. This subject has pretty much popped up in most or if not every post I've done but in small amounts particularly when I did a post about shaving.

Best Of Both: Shaving
Body hair was something that apart from my chest that never really bothered me as you see girls with hairy arms which is what was on most of my earlier pictures, I took me around six months to decide to go down the route of shaving my chest being the main thing as it stopped me from wearing dress as they mainly come down to show some form of cleavage... Luckily for me none of my clothes go that far but far enough to see if you had chest hair. Being Bi-Gender at the time scared the hell out of me as I never knew enough about it and with the momentum that it was gathering from the support I never knew what was next and shaving was something that really shit me up as most of my friend would say before they knew about my female side was that I was a very masculine person from the gym, gaming, sports and the way I looked with the body hair. I was rich in the stuff not to the extreme but enough. So shaving was a big deal as I always felt for me men that shave was either homosexuals, Body Builders and guys that think there gods gift to women. (yes as a male before I found out about Bi-Gender I was childish and a pure dick)

During the summer after I found out I was Bi-Gender a couple of lads that I worked with was talking about shaving and how it's the thing now with lads as women now don't like hairy men anymore. At the time it didn't affect me but after I went out as female I noticed all the hair and felt sick, So a week later I thought if i'm going to go out more as female i'm going have to start shaving and it hit me when the two lads that I worked with that spoke about it so after thinking I went a head with it an no one at work noticed my arms with no hair. So the result ending in keeping my appearance where I have the best of both.

Best Of Both: The Body

The Body is something that I'm concentrating on next. I'm over wight by about 1 maybe 2 stone, Although I've lost body weight I would like to be lower, maybe around the 11st/10st. The place where I work has a fitness instructor and I've decided to go to her about my diet, which wasn't unhealthy but not enough, so I had to look into changing that and a change to a couple of things. The diet starts this month for me and I will make a big push to lose weight. Body mass is falling off me which I've noticed with the fact that I've had to wear a belt to stop my pants from falling down and my female clothes are becoming baggy.

Best Of Both: Voice

One thing that I'm looking into is training my voice to be more feminine but it's the biggest thing that scares me... In fact it petrifies me. It's a thing that I know I have to do but when searching on Youtube and other sites for training videos there has been no videos done by anyone that is Bi-Gender they've only been done by transgender people.

Why does this scare me?
It scares me because of they find it hard to talk in their male voice, I know they mainly talk as female full time so eventually after talking in the female voice they trained it will be hard to get back to the lower pitch they talk. I know that this won't be the case for me at the moment but I feel if I practice for so long I think I will I lose my male voice or it will sound campy and not as it is now. I don't like the sound of my voice on a mic but it's my voice, but I know it has to be done.

Updates

Since I've had my week off which I was supposed to do a couple of posts I've been very busy not having much time at all with the hours I work and other things that has popped up at the last minute. I've done a few things since my last post as it hasn't all been all work and no play. I've started a new hobby with Warhammer (Fantasy) it's a hobby I've wanted to start doing for a few years but after one of my friends has been playing it I had to. Which after buying a starter pack with loads of modals which comes with glue, paint etc I've only started to paint and within 3 weeks I don't have a modal finished and yet to play a game.hopefully in a week I will have at least one modal finished I supposed changing my mind on colour is a big factor. I go to the Games Workshop regular after work now on a Fridays now, and I have spoke to the shop manager and spoke about being Bi-Gender as on the Friday when I was there I didn't feel masculine at all and felt extremely uncomfortable in the clothes I was wearing and how I was presenting so I felt I had to tell him for the future, and as I was going to the shop the next day who knows I could of presented as female.
Last Saturday  (7th Feb) I went to watch my first Ice Hockey game to watch the Sheffield Steelers with my friend that I play Warhammer with. He knows about my female side and has seen me as female when I was out on Christmas eve, but we never spoke to each other that night. I was feeling extremely feminine but I thought to myself I didn't want to do something so that was big with someone that I haven't really spoke to as my female side and didn't want it to make him feel uncomfortable. We've talked about it and I've said if I see you the next day etc would it bother you if I presented as female which he's "like yeah it's fine" which for me hasn't happened yet but will do soon. We are planning going to another game next month and hopefully I will bring my closest friend with me (Ainsley) which has been out around the public with me as female and will help with getting rid of any awkwardness that might arise at any point, I doubt it will happen but I like to be prepared.


Anyways I didn't present as female but I went in my male skin which for the whole day I felt extremely uncomfortable as I hate wearing male jeans as their to heavy and thick for me, I only wear them when I'm going to cities or going out somewhere that doesn't require a suit but needs to be more dressed up that trackies. When we got to the Motorsport Arena in Sheffield I noticed for such a manly/masculine sport it was attended by loads of females which made me feel worse in regards to how I was presenting and felt as which gender I was presenting. we sat next to the glass and at both sides and behind of me and my friend we was sat next to women. I couldn't believe how many women watched this sport and I loved it. The Steelers went on to win 4-2 against the Nottingham Panthers which was well attended. I'm planning on going to watch the Steelers again on the 7th March against Belfast hopefully I will have Ainsley with me and if it triggers I shall be presenting female.