Two genders Two Tails

Hi everyone it’s been a while!

Since the end of October last year (2017) my life has really been a mixture of good and bad, at the moment I can’t say it’s great but more on that another time. In brief is I’m currently unemployed and claiming JSA and really hate it, to the point where it’s depressing me and giving me headaches almost every day where the pain just goes behind my eyes. Being unemployed is something I’m not used to as I’ve pretty much worked from leaving school and being unemployed is really just exhausting, but again that will be for another post. The name of this post will definitely be an ongoing post as when I get referred I don’t just go to the place a couple of weeks later. We’re talking 12 months plus wait, and during that time I intended to do as much possible to help me achieve what I need to in life and be the best person I can be but also once I’ve sorted other issues out and then will try to see what I can help others.

This post is about a new part of my journey and a fence that has been blocking me for 2 years. This is getting on a waiting list for a GIC (Gender Identity Clinic). This was a goal from last year but unfortunately, things got in the way and delayed it, and I spent most of my free time in the gym, which helped in many ways rather than just getting fit… which really has gone to waste now. Anyway, I thought with the free time I have it’s a chance to change my life around so I sat and thought about how I am going to start my journey through the NHS and for me to get with GIC. First, though I need to be referred by my GP? This was a challenge as last time I went (2016) I wasn’t taken very seriously and I wasn’t well through being rushed into hospital a few days before but anyway I didn’t get the help that I needed, I wasn’t even taken seriously. I left the medical centre I was at humiliated, so the question was; Is it worth making an appointment for maybe the same issue?

Changing GP Practise

NO! I decided to change my GP practice as I was out of range for my last clinic really and I was still registered at my mum’s old address which now we don’t talk and is looking like we never will either and she doesn’t even know that I’m transitioning. So, I thought a new year,a new start, no job to messed around booking appointments and all to go for it and I spent a few days getting pumped up also. Before I joined the GP Clinic I’m at now I spoke to one of my neighbour’s daughter and was recommended this one that I used to walk past every day to work for almost 5/6 years and never knew it was a GP’s Clinic. A couple of days later I signed up and had a medical 2 weeks later.

First appointment

After I pass my medical which was a few questions I soon booked my appointment with the GP which I was nervous about because of the first experience I had. I had just over a week to wait… during the countdown I developed my first virus/Aussie flu (apparently) 4 days before my GP’s appointment and this was also the first time I’ve been ill since when I was rushed into hospital when I went to talk about my gender last time so history was repeating itself which really scared the hell out of me. Over the weekend it was bad and I was bedridden for 3 days but the rest did me good and for the Tuesday appointment day I was just weak but nervous. I walked in and came out with it and told the GP that I was trans and spoke about my history and also about how I was treated in my last GP’s practise which he was shocked. Unfortunately, the GP’s practise is very small and he wasn’t sure what the procedure is, but to be honest I wasn’t 100% either.

I was too weak to challenge the GP I wanted it on record more than anything and return more prepared and not weak. After I spoke to him he was certain that the first step was to see someone from mental health for an assessment before being transferred to a GIC, which I know was the old method and I knew that it was to be changed but didn’t know that it had. So, I thought let them learn he said that he has to do a little bit of research on the matter and then see where to go from there and I would get a letter within 3 weeks… I put a date on my calendar for 4 weeks as the NHS isn’t a quick system. 13^th March was the deadline I gave at this point before I would take action.

Within 4 days I had a letter that I had been referred to a mental health psychiatrist which I thought was still wrong nor was I informed of this move, but I thought to leave it and see where it goes for a few weeks as this gave me a little time to worry about a finding a job and do a little research about the process of the GIC referral, as I wasn’t waiting a year to be mentally assessed if I didn’t need to. Within less than 2 weeks I had a phone call from the psychiatrist and when I spoke to her she really couldn’t give me an answer so I decided not to take it any further as a thought it would be wasting my time, the NHS’s time as well as money and slot for someone that needed it.

Appointment 2

A couple of days after the phone call I soon made another appointment to see where I could take this and see if I could get anywhere. After being there early my appointment was 40 mins late and there was snow on the ground also. The GP was a substitute and I pretty much had to go through the history again. I was armed with the all the papers to say I can be referred directly to the GIC but he wouldn’t at first. He said he didn’t want to override what my doctor did and because the women from the mental health didn’t write any notes to say they couldn’t do anything or me refusing to take it further. That was where I told him that he would be wasting mine and the NHS’s time for the same thing to happen again. I decided to get my phone out and show him pictures of where I was to where I am now which he couldn’t believe… that soon made him change his mind and he decided to write out my referral to a GIC clinic… Win-win or so I thought.

Again, I’ve hit another blockade. GP’s can only get so much training with all the illnesses out there etc it something I understood, with where I live being a small community getting people that is trans is very small so they’re not going to encounter this much if not at all. They have to act on what they know which for me is fine as they can learn from this experience I believe. Anyway, the issue I’m facing is that they are saying they have to refer me to a local clinic and the furthest away would be Manchester… Unfortunately, which I told him that there isn’t one and the closest would be Leeds!

He spoke to the practitioner which also said the same thing and when I passed the information on they said they would get back to me… Which almost a week later I’ve received nothing. So, I’ve given my clinic the benefit of the doubt and a week to find out and ring me. It took me less than 5 mins to find out the information and it is on the NHS website that any GP can refer you to any of the 8 GIC’s clinics in the UK and You do not need a mental health assessment… when I got outside of the clinic all the snow had melted, which was a massive blow as I really like snow.

This is where I am at up to now. People have been having a go on social media at me for not being stern enough with my clinic but I know the clinic does want to help me and have done more for me in just over a month than the last place I was at ever did. I want to help them to help me as if they do get another trans person they will know how to help them. Right now, I have loads going on in my life so with this being split it also means I can concentrate on other issues. The main thing is that I now have a referral I just need it to somewhere. (you can get multiple referrals also which the other I will try for Sheffield)

Following up

I was going to leave it there but due to the not so adverse weather conditions, I’ve not really been out but I did get an update.

Okay, so as I was about to leave it at the “2^nd Appointment” but I didn’t get pictures I needed and time just quickly passed and I didn’t get the opportunity to upload this post, so I thought I would fill you all in. When I left my last appointment on the 27^th Feb I had my referral written and nowhere for it to go. It was a good thing but bad also. I knew I was right but I thought I would let them figure it out, I was told that the practitioner would ring me and get in contact with me to confirm what would be happening. When I announced this on my Facebook, I did get a few messages off a good few people saying I should have stood my ground etc and some were borderline next to abuse towards me.

I did care I had a plan, I’m a person that doesn’t like to go in all guns blazing I’m too mellow for that now, I also want to help them to help me and hopefully from this experience to help others. The plan was for me give the clinic a week (Tuesday 6^th March) to get back to me, if not I would be down there for an update and where I stand… I didn’t receive a phone call. The deadline was set so I went down there, luckily the girl at the reception remembered me and gave me the green light.

This means they have referred me and referred me to Leeds Gender Identity Clinic which is where I wanted to go… Apparently, though she said they couldn’t get me in any other clinics… hmmm, not what it says on the NHS website, but to be honest I don’t care. I’m so happy because it’s now official that the stage has now been set and is now moving forward so I can be the person that I want to be and I will be getting the help I need… But that part will be for another time as it needs to happen. This has taken so much stress off my shoulder right now and it means I can now focus on getting employed and hopefully solve any money issues before they arise. Too many people will be thinking it’s just a referral big whoop. This is more than just a referral, it is standing up and wanting to be human and wanting to live the life I was meant to live. This is me giving the finger to my last health clinic I was at that didn’t help me. Unfortunately, we have to shape our own destiny as you won’t be referred unless you do stand up and be counted. Never let one person stop you it might take some time to get over being humified like I felt but I never gave up and neither should you for anything really. Keep your head held high and push forward. I want to thank everyone that helped me to get where I am now.

Here is a link for you if you want to have a quick read, I printed this off and took it to my GP the second time round and it worked.

https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/local-gender-identity-clinics.aspx

Thanks for reading and will see you guys soon

Sarah

xxx