Two genders Two Tails

Welcome back to part 5 of this journey. This post is just before the covid outbreak. I was physically fit, I applied for the British Army Reserves for the Royal Signals. Everything was going so well. Little did I or the whole world would be about to crash. This post starts from around February 2020 and will bring us out to around late February/early February.

1/1/2020

February 2020

Okay, so we start off in February, Hormones have been going great, my boobs have grown considerably well, better than expected and the patches were great. I don’t think anything could go wrong with getting hold of the patches easy… Or so I thought! As always I would get about a month's worth which was two boxes. I would always be 2 weeks in front just in case my chemist couldn’t get hold of them. This was the case in February!

This meant booking an emergency appointment with my doctor as well the past records show my doctor and even clinic isn’t great at agreeing with me until I see them so I thought stuff it. I want a prescription brought up as I was there. When I saw him my doctor was a bit hesitant about prescribing me tablets for my hormones. My case was my liver levels have come down a lot, I was in front of my GP practice when it came to check up on my bloods and my body was the fittest it has ever been so my doctor had no reason not to. Bear in mind that a year before after losing a stone I was on the phone to my endocrinologist asking about tablets and the results was as long as my liver levels were at safe levels nI would be fine to switch. 

21st February 2020 (Day 1)

My advice if your doctor is a pain in the ass is to see them personally when switching rather than writing out a repeat prescription as when you are face to face I find it is rare they will say now. I am aware not all doctors are open-minded and still stuck in the past. Anyway, result I got my prescription and for 3 months I would stay on 1mg of estrogen for 3 months and see how much it would put my oestrogen levels up.

The Army Reserves

At that time I was also currently applying for the army reserves which was a frustrating process right from the very beginning. My advice for the army is to really research the roles you want to go in. I was unsure and the messing around I had to go through before I found the right place for me and the website is extremely confusing and frustrating giving inaccurate information about the roles that they offer. So one role thinks it was Cyber Security actually do not recruit for and you have to go through the government website for. Another role I think was for artillery did say on the website for the Reserves but when you enquired but it then it was on for regular. Eventually, I found a role that I felt suited me and that was for The Signals. I love technology overall so this was down my passon really. I managed to get through the mini-interview and onto a pre-assessment which I did well and managed to get my hands on an AS-80 Rifle. In that, we actually learned to strip down the weapon and put it together… I LOVED IT!!! I have been stripping down electronics and putting them back together since I was 7 years old this turned out to be an easy task for me. 

Anyway, the feedback I got was amazing and I was on top of the world could not be happier. It was a case of getting ready to book my assessment. I knew I would pass the fitness but I would have to adjust my training and run on the streets to hit the one and a quarter-mile in 11:30 Minutes that was set. Easy right? Nope because the next day I got home and I was rejected on medical grounds! So because I am currently transitioning this means I am medically unfit to perform army duties. The reason was that I would have to do regular checkups.

The issue is in the army reserves you are treated like you would be a regular soldier, which is wrong! The reason for this is because in the reserves you do 3 hours a week for me on a Tuesday night. I would have to do two sessions where I would have to spend a week away but in the UK as the role, I was applying for is UK based. So at no time would any of my transition excluding my operation recovery time would it affect the army. My bloods and hormone blocker injections have to be done every 3 months and would be done either on an alternative day or in the morning. At that point, I had been on the waiting list for 2 years and another year to wait! Something good did come of it though which might help you even if you’re not going to the army. So they requested my full medical history and they would be paying for it also. So because of my little understanding of my GP’s practice, they gave me everything from when I was a kid! This meant I had all correspondence from everyone that is involved with my transition, from Harrogate and even Leeds. Which would come in hand a year later. 

A week after I sent this off I got a reply on my army hub and their final decision was for me to be medically unfit they added that transitioning would be stressful generally… Yes, they were just automatically assumed everything. I was incredibly upset because I changed all my fitness around to cater for the army and to be told I would be fine then after going through all of that, to then be told its army policy which at that time did not state anywhere about this. This led to a massive downwards spiral in my mental health. 

This lead us to the start of May 2020 by then we were on a full lockdown which started at the end of March think it was the 23rd. That is where everything went tits up for my hormones!

It’s All Gone Tits up!

The biggest issue wasn’t just the army but it was the start of everything that could go wrong. So Laser Hair Removal stopped because of covid, which caused a massive issue on my journey. As for everyone that has followed my journey the laser was the last major thing on my goal list where I would be able to be myself and covid took it from me. I felt like I had been shot or stabbed. Like most people, I felt it would be over within a few weeks but no it wasn’t to be. I accepted my fate and stopped all hope of getting anywhere with my looks and my mental health just started to go on a spiral to where it would go out of control.

The biggest part was when yet to come, my clinic. Everything was going very well, even with my clinic but when June arrive that was when everything changed. GP/doctors were not seeing anyone and this also meant for who was going to inject my hormone blocker also? My and my dad spent ages. My clinic was well beyond useless and was not telling me who I could see and that my GP had not been turning up for work either, so alarm bells sounded there. 

My Dad’s clinic remains open and my clinic was a group of 3. The other one was based in my Dad’s surgery and they knew who I was and agreed to inject me with my blocker. They said if I need to I could see them again. Okay, cool problem sorted in case of next time… Nope not at all. Over the course of the lockdown, everything got worse. My doctor was still not turning up for work, which I later found out he was transferred to another clinic within that group, and doctors that were seeing to me was not even reading my notes and cancelling my prescription and at one point I went 2 weeks without my hormones. This was around August 2020 time. A month later came my second injection for my blocker… Yeah, that never happened. I rang them and they said they never had a nurse who could see me and was not who could. I rang the clinic that gave me the injection the last time around and they had no record of it and would not see me. After trying to sort something out I had no luck and come halfway through October 2020 I was 1 1/2 months overdue my blocker. By this time I decided to move to my Dad’s clinic. The only thing they were not and are still not doing is face to face appointments with the doctor. It was hard coming over as they lost all my notes and as I changed my name that meant a fresh NHS Number and a fresh NHS record. Yep, no one in the trans Community on Youtube tells you that so be prepared if they do. They said to me changing my name means a new identity. 

The GP I am assigned to had our first chat and honestly, he was the biggest prick ever. Like my Dad stopped me going down there and kicking off and apparently he is like this with everyone. So old decrepit and thinks he knows everything. Because they didn’t have my blood levels noted he would not go off what I was saying and would not reschedule either. He wouldn’t let me take my official documents down to get the admin guys to put it on the systems. However, I did this and asked to be seen by a different GP. That however changed everything. Because I had all my documents he looked at my recent bloods and he let me up to my estrogen. My advice is to take risks. Not all Gp’s know everything and the older generation based on my experience and other trans people I have spoken to are just stubborn and locked in old ways and old ways of thinking. Never budge and always ask for someone else if you’re made to feel comfortable, but also make your voice heard, especially if you have all official documentation. You will get nowhere else otherwise. 

Feb 2020 - April 2021 - Changes

The changes going from patches to pills really is wow! Mainly around the breast area. I measure with a friend and this came to a 40D. I need to get professionally measured. Part of me was overweight at the time… Still am at the time of writing this. My skin is softer, but another huge thing that changed is my hair. 

All changes can vary person to person. For me the pain I got from my Brest growing was very painful, and I have stretch marks also, I was recommended bio oil to help get rid of them and I noticed they also faded over time. I was surprised that the pain woke me up at night and went on for a couple of days. I can say I am happy now where I do not need my Brest foams anymore.

I have been taking biotin tablets from Holland and Barrett which cost me £20 (BUY ONE GET ONE FOR 1p) they was a high dose and wow they have worked. I think it will take another 2 years to get my hair back if it does but we shall see from here. I took a picture and compare from 2018 before I started hormones also. I have had a few people tell me they think my face has changed but I disagree and think it is down to when I have lost weight and put it back on. That is all I can report on. Again I really need to stress that hormones are not an overnight cure and the effects can take 2 years to full take effect. This can be soon and in other blogs I started to notice changes in weeks. I would also like to add for male to female hormones to my knowledge do not alter the pitch of your voice especially after puberty. This has to be trained unfortunately. 

That is it for this part. The next part will explore more on to the clinic side and will start from 1/1/2021. This year (2021) has been something else and a huge change in my transition and I hope to get this up very soon. 

Not the best picture in 2018 but it is to show there is hope,

Thank you for reading and I hope you stay safe.

Sarah

xxx

Click on the parts to take you there 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4