This post has to be the most important for me (female side) as I'm getting to that point where I think I need to get out. Most of the time I'm stuck in my home, which is small and cramped can't really go anywhere with me being in a flat, but first some updates of my journey
Halloween
From what I read on forums and spoke to other people that are Transgender, Bi-Gender etc they felt that it was better and easier for them to go out as female on Halloween (first time) as pretty much you can get away with it... Suppose you can get away with it any day now really (in the UK at least) as not many people care. I was thinking of going out myself mainly to present my female self but I found Thursday morning that my prosthetic breasts had split. I have ordered some more but they didn't turn up, an me going as female will not happen this weekend. I'm very upset as it was a golden opportunity to meet everybody. (And no I will not role up socks or underwear)
The Hopeful Gig
As some people know I'm going to watch a punk band called Against Me! I bought the tickets so I could go as female, as the lead singer is Transgender and after speaking to my friend that has seen me as female about it and he said yes to the tickets so after purchasing them a couple of months later he got back to me say he couldn't get it off work, a massive doubt about me going as female as I would have no support and also would be a downer. A couple of days ago I spoke to a friend that I worked with and spoke about the idea of the gig and having a spare ticket and she wants to go and to me as female for the first time. She has been very supportive and one of the few people that know me as male since leaving McDonald's has messaged me, without me messaging first. That goes for my male side also. It does mean no Satan's Hollow but it ain't like it won't be there for my next gig I go to or if I fancy a night out. Gigs then Satan's Hollow end up being better as if it's open as sometimes the artists/bands that perform sometimes go the after party and you get to meet them and get drunk together. Think I heard that Crossfaith ended up being dragged out they got so drunk haha.
Being out to everybody
The awesome Brin Convenient
As of last Sunday (26/10/14 UK date) I am now out as Bi-Gender to everyone, so now everyone that knows me now knows the correct story and not something that someone thinks. On Sunday (26/10/14) I came out to my step-dad, I expected him to be very negative as he sometimes lives so far in the past Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley are still alive, but he was so positive was just brilliant and supportive which he asked loads of questions. It makes me feel so free now to the world as I don't have to worry about anyone saying a load of rubbish to my mother and step-dad. What makes me so happy is how everyone has been and I never thought that some of the people that I came out to would react so positive.
The stunning Paige Abendroth
Do's And Don't's
And now to the part what the post is about the do's and don't's.
As my journey is picking up pace and being out to everyone, I want to meet more people and just get out there. Mainly for meeting people that have known my male side longer I can understand that people might struggle to adapt to seeing me presented as a female, the whole thing changes from gender, the use pronouns, gender plus a few other things all change.
Gender is linked to identity, it is what identifies you as a person. Being Bi-Gender doesn't change your sex as I will always be male in that aspect with the organs etc, but it's about how I present myself and how I feel at the time. If I present myself as a female that is because I am female.
Changes when presenting female
Latest Male picture to Latest female picture
Month: October 14 Month: October 14
Name: Nick to Sarah
Pronouns: Him, he, his etc to Her, she, her's etc (everything that is masculine turns to feminine)
I'm not a person that will snap and go mental because of the wrong name and use of pronouns, I'm more relaxed about it than others. Think if I did my Dad would probably be dead as he still refers to me in masculine forms when I'm presented as a female, which yes I can see a good side to it as his thoughts hasn't changed but it is like flicking me on the ears once every so often you want to scream the right name for him to use, as he has seen me a good few times to know that I aint my female side by the way I look, dress and way my I talk. (not as in by tone but the way I say things are more feminine)
It's also like getting an electric shock every time I hear "Nick" being used it just make me jump. Although I really should correct him, I find it hard to do so whether it is due to him being my Dad and I think "he's just thick as concrete, with nothing in his head except for that 1 pea that occasionally rattles around" so telling him won't do anything but I think it has something to do with me being his son. I can only imagine what it must be like for him to see his son dressing and looking like a female. It must be tough to see it happen even though he might put on this be who you want attitude but he is supportive so I can't knock it... If that's the case Fuck me if my Mum ever sees me... HI MUM!
Their are more things but I shall leave them to when I can think of them, at the moment it's about meeting people that I know so if we meet that is how I would like to be spoken to and treated, the best advice I give people when people ask me about when they're in similar situations but with a different person it's not the best method and comes across as being a stereotype another word is called clocking.
Clocking is a word that I picked up looking through youtube videos linked to people talking about their experiences being Transgender and Bi-Gender. Clocking is where someone will check you out (not in a pervy way) to check to see what gender/sex you are. So they will look at everything breasts, a bulge in your groin area and voice mainly. Pretty much how I tell people how I do it, I try to tell people to go off make-up and observe that first. I'm not talking about just foundation as I have noticed loads of men that now use foundation and some even to their eye brows too. That is when I move to the next features such as the breast area and bottom, I don't do this as a pervy way but to not create an awkward situation. I try to keep away from names if I don't know them and also keep away from using pronouns until I know/they tell me. 9/10 I've already guessed right. Horrible yes but a good tool to use when trying to find someone out if you need to talk to, if not I don't bother checking.
If you know that the person you are talking to has alternate genders then just go as how you see them, it's how I tell people. "You see me with long hair, It's Sarah." You see me with short hair/no hair as it's falling out it's Nick." With me its very easy if you know my male side you will know if it's him or not. For me I will never go out with just long hair. Make-up, feminine clothing and 9 times out of 10 will have heels on... Even in my home I will wear heels. (unless something has happened to my feet/ankles)
"If you lived the life you were told to, who's life would you be living your's or their's?"
A big thank you to Paige and Brin for letting me use their videos
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