Two genders Two Tails

Miss Transgender UK

Hey all!

This post has taken a while to write mainly as I’ve been working hard and have been extremely tired and I will not write unless I’m ready as I only write from the heart and soul.

Intro

I hope everyone is going great?

This post is about Miss Transgender UK which is a pageant that is run by Rachael Bailey. The pageant has its own website which I’ve just started to write on the blog section. It also has a bunch of other stuff on their related to the next pageant that is coming up. (which is this year’s 2016) Last year was the first pageant that was held and it was also part of a documentary for the BBC. Which many of my friends have watched and many people have asked me to have my say about the program. It’s only down to loads of people asking why I’m writing about as to be honest I really don’t want to as I don’t want to offend anyone and I don’t want to offend or disrespect Rachael or even the Trans* community.

I like the idea of the pageant as it shows to the world that we are no different to any other society, it shows that we’re ready to make a stand, It’s gives me the feeling of “well if a Trans* can’t be in a pageant fuck you we will start our own.” A few weeks ago it was in the news that a Trans* women was disqualified. As for Rachael for setting this pageant up well done hun.

The Documentary 

The Documentary which is called Miss Transgender: Britain's New Beauty Queens which is available now on iPlayer for a limited time and is mainly about following three Trans* women on the road through the competition.

First was Jai 22, and from Walkerburn in Scotland somewhere on the boarder, she was only living as women for a couple of month from when this documentary was being filmed, and was the girl that was her earliest stage of her transition in the competition.

Next up it was Courtney 30, and was living in Chelsea but spent most of her life in Nottingham and grew up on a council estate. She started to transition to female from a teenager but suffered discrimination from others. She had bottles thrown at her, cars tried to run her over, she was also an escort from the age of 17. She claims where she was in Nottingham she had no choice but to be an escort.

The third person was called Fay Louise 28 from Newcastle, she has been living as a woman for 13 years and was the only person to have the full gender reassignment surgery and she now wants to have a child but whom will be her own flesh and blood so that means finding a surrogate mother who will have her sperm she had frozen before she had SRS treatment. Having your sperm frozen is costly and from what I gathered it was over £700 per year for them to keep your sperm frozen. She went to an alternate parenting show where she wanted to see what her options was and that was surrogacy and the process would cost around $120,000 and with my job it would take me 8/9 years without spending any of it.

I would say the first part of the documentary that people wouldn’t be happy about was when Jai was getting ready for the pageant. You were introduced to Jai flat mate and ex-boyfriend (which I couldn’t catch the name off sound like Dan/Dell to me) who to me didn’t sound very supportive, whether it was down the him trying to be funny for the cameras or being serious I don’t know any way he seemed to denigrate Jai, regards to saying that the whole village is nice to him because he is transgender but he also miss-gendered her also. He claimed that Jai was bored of being gay and said she was doing it for attention. Jai’s Flat mate/ex called Jai (I’m sorry to my friends and everybody for the use of this word) “A big Tranny.” For those that Don’t know that word is what is called a derogatory term such as called a gay person a “faggot” or a black person a “nigger” (again sorry for the use of words, it’s only used for educational purposes) Those types of words aren’t short for that a transgender person, a black person or gay person it’s just offensive. For me being called for being transgender doesn’t both me as if a person wants to try and offend me by using that word isn’t worth my time.

The Pageant

The opening for the pageant for me set the first impressions within less than second showing a girl wearing nothing but nipple tassels and some type of thong.  When you meet Courtney she talks about when she was an escort and how easy it is for young transgender women to get trapped in the sex industry hmmm I’ve never heard of it being big until now, I kind of thought it would happen in the world but not as it’s a big thing like Courtney says it is, but hey I’m still fairly new to the whole Trans* way of life and how to live etc., but in the big groups I’m in I don’t think it has ever been mentioned.

The Scotland heat Jai is one of nine girls and had to finish in the top four to qualify. She wore a black dress a big... no a huge hat but for me it gave her outfit a sophisticated, classy and complex look. Her talent she performed was lip-syncing. She went up against the favorite Taylor that wore kimono then went to wearing a bra and a strapless type thong and she was a hit. It didn't stop Jai from winning though and going through to the finals.

When Fay was up it was about how she wanted to be a mother and how she finds out it will cost around $120.000 to have a surrogate mother to birth her child from her frozen sperm.

You do get Courtney saying of how she was treated and hell yeah it’s sad, that she was almost killed because of being who she is. I have to admire that she kept going, it’s hard to be who you are when society judges you and takes it upon their selves to make your life miserable because they don’t like it.

 Poi performer Fay

One thing I would like to mention is as I spoke to Fay it was because I wanted to ask a few questions One of them was about her act which she was using fire as part of her performance and that interested me and I’m sure some of you who watched it. When I spoke to her I think she said she did the dance from the Fifth Element movie which I love and watched so many times, which had to be cut because of copyright reasons and the fire performance is called Poi.

The Pageant arrives at in the midlands which is where Courtney is. As we know by then she was on TV and mentioned about the whole escorting issue, which with me I don’t know why it was mentioned but hey it didn’t bother me what was said. Anyway the pageant came, and was underway where Courtney wasn’t even ready and didn’t even have her outfit prepped so not a good start to the competition for her. She just got ready in time for her slot in the competition and was dressed to what some people would compare to Rhianna/younger Beyoncé, others would think something else. She also had a mic and was lip-syncing similar to Jai but different style. I have to hand it to Courtney seeing her dancing the way she in her heeled boots was impressive. You go to King Street in Wigan you will see many biological girls that fall over sober whilst wearing converse. 

Courtney had her mum watching and apparently was the first time in two years that she had seen her so a great time to see her and for her mum to watch her daughter to perform. Courtney won first place, but she would end up being kick out of the competition because of a so called fight with Fay after comment she made, which after watching the show a good few times I didn’t see what Fay said and can’t understand why Courtney reacted the way she did for me she should of ignored Fay, when after speaking to her it was because she was supporting Jossy as she went to supported Fay as they are both friends. So for anyone that thought Fay was there to cause trouble that is the reason for her presence at the midlands heat… Well done for BBC not editing that in there as I first thought “what the hell is she doing there”?  

Just after the fight Courtney move back to Nottingham and started to escorting again, so I suppose she gave up on wanting to change at that point. The next part was a new prize was announced that the winner would have the option to have full gender reassignment surgery, which it went over to Jai and she was unsure if she wanted to go that far and there are many Trans* people don’t. Jai’s point which I and many of my Trans* friends I’ve asked about it agreed with Jai that her genitals don’t make her any more or less than a women and is kind of dictating that, to be accepted in society you need to have a vagina, but she hasn’t ruled it out at that point of filming.

As the show goes on we get to the finals which is split up into 2 rounds where they will give a speech to prove that they can be a role model for the Trans* community which I can see a good and bad thing about it. Before the finals start Rachael who organise and that runs the competition made a speech about saying this isn’t just a general beauty pageant and it’s about finding ambassadors from around the country that she can work with and that will work for the community that will help. Which is a great. The thing is I wonder if that was in the T&C’s? 

What if the person that wins it doesn’t want that? I’m sure one of the main reasons most of the girls are there is because they wanted to do it for themselves. I wish I was there for the speech’s seeing the comments that was made from the others.

After the Finales it went back to Courtney and she said she’s off drugs and she doesn’t want to do escorting so does that mean she’s still doing but getting sick of it? Also four months later Jai was stripped of the title as Rachael claimed she wasn’t full time as female which is in the rules as you join the page and is on the website.

Fay’s Fund Me Page

Fay has set up a page on gofundme to help her get on the surrogacy and egg donation program. (someone to have her child from her sperm she had frozen) I will be donating to her as she interested in me and helpful, she has shown to me that she can be a role model for other Trans* people and I suppose people in general. I would like to wish Fay good luck and I hope in the future to work with you on another post.

https://www.gofundme.com/faylouisemum2be

Conclusion and After Thoughts

Again I would like to say that these are my opinions and based on me being a new person to the community and at the start of my transition, none of my opinions are based to cause offence or offend the people in the documentary or organisers and sponsors.

I would say I feel that the competition should have never been agreed to be air as a one-hour documentary as I feel it missed out on so much that could have been aired that wasn’t and missed key elements for people that don’t know about Trans* people. There are many people out there that are judgemental by first impressions, Which I feel Jai and Courtney didn’t give at the start of the documentary. There was fights and arguments which in groups I’m in on social media was mentioned before the documentary was aired and still going on within the groups to quite recently. I feel and many of my friends in general think the fighting and the bitchiness has over shadowed what the competition was about and in some of my friend’s views made the documentary a joke

As for Jai being stripped I don’t see anything where she isn’t full-time as a female, nor has any of my friends who are/aren't Tran’s have disagreed with me.  Yeah she wore what looks to be male boxers shorts/shorts and didn’t wear her wig in parts of the documentary. so what? #whocares
I and many others aren’t blessed with the hair the women others have, mine is falling out and is quickly taking all of my confidence out of me mainly as male, and also I sometime wear my female clothes and not my wig inside which is what Jai did in the documentary. If I had my own place or when my dad is out and I’m presenting as female, I don’t always wear my wig as they can get uncomfortable and extremely hot under them. I wear what is comfortable for me, I don’t feel any less of a female, it’s rare I wear male clothes if I’m presenting as female but I do

In some ways I feel sorry for Jai in some ways and the information lacked about her as it said she came out as transgender to her boyfriend at the time and was full time. So did she wake up one morning and was like I’m a girl and started living full time? I don’t know it doesn’t add up to me but hey if that what’s happened fair enough I don’t know the girl and will probably never speak to her.  My issue that almost sent me on a huge rant on Facebook was after she was called a “A gay boy in a wig.” She said that we all start out as gay boys in wigs. I’m sorry I have never been gay, and I’m not into men, I don’t like penises not even my own. So if Trans* people start out as gay boys in wigs. What does that make me and other people like me that prefer women? Do I not fit in to the Trans* community?

My next one is not Trans* enough which was what was used by other contestants? In some of the groups on Facebook I’m in some Trans* women that was further along their journey said that they see girls not on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) as cross dressers. Again that is bullshit, so if that is the case what was they when they started out. Fay stated that she started from somewhere as we all do. As we all know the waiting list for GIC’s (Gender Identity clinics) are huge for Leeds its around 3 years to been seen then you have to be assessed before they will prescribe you hormones and go from there. Jai won because she was better and had more to offer the community more than what the other contestants did, I wonder how many of those women used along the lines of “I want this.” or “I want that.” Rather than “I want to.” Etc. I think for Rachael wanting someone that will be a role model and someone that she can work with and that can be an ambassador she needs someone without that kind of attitude, someone that is open to all part of the journey. She will need someone that will be able to speak for the Trans* community and not segregate it, which from some of the contestants and what you saw in the documentary which again it should have shown more people. 

The next is Full-time.

What does it mean to be female full time?

Does it mean you have to have long hair?

Does it mean for people like me that I have to wear my wig all the time because mine is falling out?

Does it mean I have to be a plasterer every day to skim my face with foundation and a trowel and then other bits of makeup?

Does it mean I have to wear a dresses, skirts and blouses etc. all the time?

Do I have to undergo the knife and have my penis turned into an origami project to create a vagina?

Do I have to wear my prosthetics breast all the time till I get my boobs operated on?

That was the vibe I was getting from the show. I felt I was watching and episode of “From ladette to lady.” This is how women should be type of thing. I know many biological ladies that wear lad’s boxers or lad shorts, I know girls with short hair, bad manners, wears trousers and one word for some girls like them is a tomboy. Not all Tom boys are butch lesbians it’s just who they are.

I think for the show to move forward and want only full-time female to participate it needs to be policed better. There must be some way of making each contestant having to bring some form of proof from their doctor or GIC that states they are living full time, as this will happen more often as it has done, and I’m sure with this being on TV it must have been embarrassing that the person that won it was not so called full time and was referred to away from the documentary as a drag queen. It's great that they have done a re-crowning a couple of days ago but the damage was already done and many people that wasn’t Trans* saw the bad side to the whole thing and it saddened me as I think this is a good idea to a degree and it can really help the community but big questions are.

Why does it have to be some one full time and not a Trans* Person that has just started her journey?

Having someone in a full time role yeah it can be great that it will inspire people to be like them but what about someone that is documenting their journey? Won’t that inspire others not to be afraid to be who they are? Is the winner is going to be someone that is going to speak for the Trans* community will she embrace and help people at all stages of their journey rather than some who wouldn’t?

As I’m at the start of my transition I need someone to look up to, I need someone to inspire me. I don’t want some stuck up, condescending asshole that forgot where she came from to speak for me. I don’t want another Caitlyn Jenner. Sometimes we all need a push off someone and not to be segregated because we’re not far enough in our transition, or because we’re not on hormones. The biggest issue is that it kind of makes the whole Equal rights for being Trans* a load of bullshit as some of trans people won’t give equal rights to other Trans* people so how can they ask for it if they won’t give it to people in the same community? Which at the end of the finals back stage in the pageant some people didn’t give it to Jai.