Welcome back to this ep of my ‘Evolution’ part. On the last ep I covered Concealer, it was about how I covered my stubble and from showing how I prevented the dreaded 5 O’clock shadow (stubble) from showing. Like the last post foundation will always be ongoing till I hit hormones and have laser hair removal, but until then it’s about how to be comfy with myself.

This ep is all about Foundation so I will go through where I started to where I am now.
I hope you enjoy.

Okay, the foundation was the first thing I started with, and I think it’s where most girls start when it comes to makeup. I know when I was in high school I noticed loads of girls started to wear it. I was like what the hell is that what are they wearing? I noticed because it wasn’t blended at all it would generally go to the side of the head and just under the chin. Then came mascara and eyeliner but that is for another ep. Unfortunately, this happened to me when I started… But I didn’t start with your standard foundation.

The first time I came into contact with the foundation was when I was into my heavy metal, I dressed in baggy jeans, New Rock Boots, band t-shirt (that hasn’t changed for when I present male) and a big chain hanging on my jeans, so I started out wearing porcelain foundation. It wasn’t really branded at all it was just cheap stuff, but it was extremely thick and didn’t cover my face so it was spending time looking for ways to improve which was using Sudocream as what I didn’t know was a primer to help the white foundation to go on and this happens with most white foundations apparently… Never tried any since I came away from it.

I kind of think thank god, my photography skills were crap then as with my makeup skills, I had an extremely hairy chest which you can kind of see. When this pic was taken I already acquired eye shadow, lip gloss, and eyeliner which was from a gift set off eBay for less than a £10. The wig was a really cheap fancy dress one which you could do nothing with, but there you could tell that I had no idea of blending at all haha.

Within a couple of weeks, I had got concealer which I used once as it was really thick and hard to use for such a novice like myself. I got an eyeshadow pallet but I also got lipsticks which were in the bag and behind them was 5 foundation shades. These were a cheap buy and got on eBay which didn’t last long as it was too oily for my skin and to me looked fatty oily if that makes sense. For the first use which I think I’ve said this more than one occasion was I decided to use the darkest shade first, not because I thought I would be right, but because I could and I wanted to see what it would look like… but if people know me well enough is that I don’t take much stuff seriously and decided to have a laugh and take the mick out of someone I knew because she wore her foundation darker than her skin. To this day though I’ve never said who it was and never will unless you’re one of my closest friends that knew me before 2014. 

This was probably the first picture I showed people when I came out, it was probably one of the first pics on my Facebook profile when I created it! Looking back yes it was for a laugh but I think it portrays more people that start off using foundation, that includes not blending and I wonder how many people would admit to looking like this when they started out?

In July was where I started to change. I changed my foundation to another unnamed one and now I’ve started to see being sold at my post office, I got mine from off eBay where I can’t seem to find it now. I started to change in the way I dressed I got jeans in, I got more female clothes in and started really getting into fashion. Probably not the best outfit to wear in the middle of summer but at this point, I never went out.

  

This was September 2014, nothing had really changed but this was a very important night for me. This was the first time I went out as female to Blackpool. Foundation wise nothing changed even makeup. What did change was when I got home and looked at the pictures. I knew things had to change, such as how I looked and fast.

November and December were where everything changed. In November I got better at using the foundation I had, I got new eyeshadow from No.7 (Boots) and Max Factor Liquid Eye Liner. Along with Calvin Klein Blusher. For the first time, I met up with people I used to work with when I was at McDonald's as female. It went down very good and was at my local pub.

During 2015 I spent most time learning techniques and got in brushes, I spent loads of it messing around with makeup and seeing if I could go back to Blackpool looking better. 

Before I went to meet people I used to work with at McDonald's for the first time

I tried Avon but it didn’t work, it seemed greasy for me and never stayed on my face. Fast track to the end of 2015 I knew I had to do something. I was in a new job and was planning something big… Like really big! Where I currently work my colleagues are very supportive and they wanted to see me as female (I got pestered) which I felt very pressured by them but to be honest I pressured myself more as it was an opportunity that I didn’t want to regret and one thing I’m not great at is regretting. So, I went to Boots in the Trafford Centre and spent about £70 on makeup, for this I went to Max Factor. This was where I bought Pan Stick, Primer and it was the 3-in-1 Infinity foundation. At the time it worked great, which I soon used for the best part of 2016.   

Towards the back end of 2016, I started messing around with the higher end makeup brands such as  MAC and Dior which was very pricey only to not get the results I wanted. Unfortunately, I felt that I was still going back to Max Factor. In August I wasn’t getting much practice time as my dad took early retirement with Tescos laying off the night shift at his store, which I’m never comfortable getting ready when he’s around.

Here are some looks from 2016;

For 2017 it’s been a different story this is due to focusing on different things mainly fitness. I
want to go full time when I’m ready and that includes being more toned, being able to go out and not wear waist trainers and be able not to sweat when presenting female which is a massive issue for me. This year I've mainly been wearing Estee Lauder’s Double Wear but in January I came across Kat Von D’s Lock-it. The only issue I have with them both is with me having to wear prosthetics and a wig it gets very hot so even with setting spray I really sweat and I sweat the foundation off and setting spray. So, my question is… What Foundation can I use that won’t be as thick but offer the same coverage?

London 2017

My look for when I went for a tattoo

London 2017

Birmingham August 2017

Fitness has become my number one focus this year and will hopefully continue next year but it is also when I plan to go presenting as female full time at some point. My makeup collection has grown since but that will be for another post where I will talk about everything. However, I have an announcement in the next couple of weeks might be over a couple of posts I don’t know yet, but it is massive and this is a massive positive which possibly will help me with my transition.

That's it for this ep, thank you for reading and I will have more updates and I can’t wait for what my future holds.

See you all soon

Thanks

Sarah

xxx

This has been a post that is long overdue, 25 November 2014 I did my first “Make-Up” post and was also my second post I’ve done since setting up this blog. Since then my makeup collection has grown not to an epic amount but it’s grown. When I did the makeup post it was mainly just foundation, blending eye shadows, blusher etc and how much I’ve changed from embracing that I’m Bi-Gender but now I’ve started to learn more, and have started to contour also. I’m not going to lie I suck at doing it but I need to practice more. The results aren’t too bad, I feel that I tend to pull off more natural look where there is no shading and highlighting of what contouring should look like.

Discovering my image!

Everyone has an image, not just celebrities, not just cross dressers, drag queens and transgender people, even biological girls and men have an image. This post is purely aimed at women.

Without an image life would be rubbish, we don’t need to be celebrities to have one and for me it’s the most important part of ourselves as it defines us a person, some people take years to perfect the image they see in their heads, some people can come up with an image they like on the spot, some people seek surgery and for others to exercise to build their image, so many ways and lengths people go to get the right image they see.

Creating my image is extremely difficult and one huge reason I hate being Bi-Gender. I love all the feminine side of things with the hips, breasts, and facial features and more but my main Gender is male because that is what I biologically am, I go to work as male and pretty do everything as male regards to shopping and bank etc.

So what have I done to help my image so far?

Before I started to lose weight

During the Wight loss

there's still some way to go

• I’ve lost weight (still ongoing, but is for the best of us both)
• I’ve got better with clothes (clothing is important for your image)
• Better at makeup (to look more feminine, and help to style a more feminine face)

These are just some of the things that I’m going to help me achieve the image I feel that I am as female. I’m still looking into the makeup side of things as there is just loads of ways and techniques for makeup and I think most women mainly in the early days will spend time looking at styles and trying on what suits them and will change slowly as they mature as they age. Which I think I’m quickly doing.

Since embracing being Bi-Gender I’ve come to the conclusion that dark foundation isn’t for me and looking like a tangerine is not for me as I just see myself having green hair like an Oompa Loompa with heels and being 6 foot tall. This for me is too fake and wouldn’t help me feel like a real woman.

I do feel like I’m for the more natural pale side of makeup so I go for Ivory colours of foundation sometimes slightly darker depends on what I want to do at that time as when I use a darker tone of foundation I tone it down by using a lighter powered foundation, which I’ve noticed and looked doing it up helps to keep the foundation on which I’ve had loads of trouble doing. Most of the times when I present female and use my makeup I go as natural as I can as I never leave the house and if I do which has been at night I do it to blend in with people, not to get looks and draw attention which I can’t be bothered to have so I use makeup as it’s intended for so these are the main reasons I and many people use makeup;

• Making skin look healthy
• Shaping the face (for me more feminine look)
• Giving a natural look
• I hate spots (even as male) so a great way to conceal them from the rest of the world seeing
• Gives me more confident 

Again there’s more which I can’t really think about at the moment but overall to make me feel more feminine.

My makeup

When I showed my collection of makeup I had a makeup bag which was half full, set of lipsticks which were crap, lip-gloss, concealer, a box of makeup I didn’t use and a black case with loads of colors of eyeshadow in. I still have the bag and the case of eye shadows, but the box with the makeup I don’t use is now long gone.

Since then I have a more practical makeup box from Boots No.7 range with brushes and makeup that came with it, the bag I still have but is extremely full, still got the makeup lipsticks that I don’t really use and any more. I really love makeup if you can't tell already.

This was my collection

These two are a Wish App buy, they're gel eyeliner which you have to use a brush for which are supplied with them. Cost around £4 and is amazing.

These are the eyeshadows I got which is from Boots No.7... Which for me is awful and doesn't work for my skin.

This is my new purchase from the Wish App was £0.99, I've not used it yet and never used a pencil liquid eyeliner.

 My Birthday is coming

September is coming and that means my birthday 11^th September. I’m planning a massive night out on 12^th September which is on a Saturday where I’m thinking of booking a hotel and exploring Manchester Canal Street. I’ve only ever been to one club in Manchester which is called Satan’s Hollow, which is kind of awesome as it’s only round the corner of Canal Street, not a couple of mins from where my hotel is if I can get a room for the night.

I’m planning on inviting all my friends to come and party with me as I'm might think about presenting as female and what a perfect time to do it. This will be the first for me being in a city and going for a night out as female. I hope I can get as many people as I can to go and hopefully will be a great night, I intend to live it up to the max. I see it if I’m female why the hell not, I will start to plan next month so I can book a hotel because at the moment I need to get my trip to York sorted as I’m going to watch Bullet For My Valentine, so I will need to make sure I have my hotel booked and train journey which is around £54 open return. Whether I go as female to that Gig I have no idea it’s a new place I know nothing about (Apart for William Wallace sacking it many hundreds of years ago) and I’ll probably be hitting the clubs hopefully heavy metal/rock clubs if there is any.

For my birthday look, I’m planning to venture out of my comfort zone of makeup, with my outfit I’ve been told by a few friends that I have to wear my black lace type dress with my leggings and over the knee suede boots. So now it’s time to think about my facial appearance. When it comes to eyeshadows and lipstick etc. 

For my birthday look, I’m planning to venture out of my comfort zone of makeup, with my outfit I’ve been told by a few friends that I have to wear my black lace type dress with my leggings and over the knee suede boots. So now it’s time to think about my facial appearance. When it comes to eyeshadows and lipstick etc. For me, I normally blend eyeshadows from light to dark and normally it’s white to black or light brown to dark brown with black eyeliner winged at the ends, with lipstick normally a light natural pink nothing special. The one thing I don’t have is any colors that make a statement… Well, when it comes to the quality it doesn’t. 

All I know is that the dress will be going if it should happen but with the belt/without and with shoes or boots and will need a bag to go with it.

Between now and my night out I will be testing loads of makeup brands that aren’t overly expensive so sorry MAC you’re going have to wait. I will be looking at BarryM, MUA, Max Factor, Maybelline New York, and Rimmel London to name a few but someone in my family has now just started with Avon so I'm going to give them a try.

I suppose I'm hyping this up really but there is nothing saying I won't go out as female yet, I won;t just dress up for the sake of it, nor will I force myself to do something. If it does happen I will make sure my makeup will be flawless as I have 3 months to prepare if it does for the best foundation, eyeliner, eyeshadow and lipstick/lip gloss. People can say to me "you're going to the gay village/canal street they have everything there." That might be so but it's about how I will feel on the day. I can't say that I will feel female for that day and I don't want to force it if I don't I just want people to be there well for me to have a great time and celebrate something I don't and haven't celebrated for almost 20 years because apart from family I've never really had the chance to celebrate my birthday with, which leads me to another thing. Who would they be celebrating my birthday with? Nick or Sarah?

Avon

I’ve had two Avon product and both were awful which was liquid eyeshadows but it was when I first started out and I bought off eBay. I was extremely naive with makeup and Avon was the choice at that time and which popped into my head as my mum used to be an Avon rep. 

I’ve not got any products currently of Avon’s but I have the Brochure and I’ve looked through it… OMG, I was overwhelmed I think I have started a wish list as I have 9 items and it comes to £45.50, something that I will be looking to see if I can bring it down as I set a budget of around £30.

• Liquid Foundation – Ideal Flawless £6 (Half price so I’ve got that down in two shades of Ivory and creamy Natural)
• Lipstick - Ultra Colour Bold Lipstick Power Plum £4.50 (like a purple color which is what I want and I don’t have any quality lipsticks)
• Makeup Setting spray £2.50 (loads of makeup artist recommend this after applying makeup and at £2.50 why not)
• Powdered Foundation - Calming Effects Loose Powder Foundation £5 (You can’t just have one powered foundation that’s just stupid) wishlist***
• Powdered Foundation – Ideal Flawless Cream-to-powdered foundation £6 I’ve chosen this one
• Contour foundation – Blush to Bronze Trio £6 (Something I need as the Contouring kits I have are like creamy and I will use them by September)
• Mascara – SuperExtended Winged out Mascara (I don’t have enough mascara and the issue is mainly down to quality which the No.7 is okay for me but not brilliant)
• Conditioning Eye Make-up Remover Lotion £4 (Something that I don’t really need but will try as most times when I wash my makeup off from around my eyes the skin does go dry and does feel like it’s burning so I have to use cream to rejuvenate the skin) wishlist*** 

After looking at this list I can take two things off and add for the following month so my total comes to £36.50 so only £6.50 over budget. I really hated looking through this brochure mainly because I was like a child in a sweet shop I just wanted most things but I will have to look into more eyeshadows when I get the next brochure as I want a to go purple to match the lipstick I have.


Now I have a new thing that I enjoy and love which is makeup, not because it makes me feel more feminine, not because it takes away my bad flaws in my skin which I'm still not brilliant at doing haha. It's what you can do with makeup that I love, it's how creative you can be. It's an art and a culture that I want to be apart of more and more. I'm a person that tries to make myself look natural with my makeup as I can and will push the boundaries trying to keep the natural look. 

I can only say there will be many more makeup posts as I know that I will be buying much more but also binning more as most of these don't actually work awesomely for me, they do the job but the more I makeup I buy the more I will get to experiment. My best buy out of all my makeup would be the powder base from The Body Shop and the Eyeliner from the Wish App. The eyeliner stays on and with the brush that comes with it which really helps to reshape how you want your eyes to look and for me helps me to stop blinking loads which frustrates me loads. The Body Shop's Foundation Powder Base is great for applying after you used liquid foundation, for me it just works, it smooths out the liquid foundation that you used and it gives a great finish that keeps the foundation on your face as sometimes I've found in the past that the foundation like runs off my face and just transfers onto everything so easy and will last only a few hours before having to top up everything.

This is my makeup collection now.

Thanks for listening and I will post more updates that could possibly be for my birthday look.

Bonjour all!

This topic is about "Wish And Cream." It's not a rude as it sounds haha. It's a two-part post talking about the Wish App and some cream I picked up from the Body Shop.

Wish

The Wish App has been gaining popularity these last few months in the UK. I know it has been in the US at least since 2013. I thought I would check it out and see what it was about. After downloading it asking for you to set up and account and all that lah de dah stuff. It then asked you to pick what things you’re interested in, clothes (male/female), types of clothing, gadgets and home stuff... Well, everything really. Then you pick your choices, think you can pick as many as you want. The app will then post deals or items based on what you selected that you want to buy. 

All the stuff is from the east to China and Korea are the only countries I've seen, with most of the items I’ve seen on eBay, but this is better than using eBay when it comes to buying from China and Korea. I’m sure if you’ve bought from China or Korea or maybe both sizes are a pain in the ass. Correct me if I'm wrong but on eBay, you can only see the feedback on the shop as a whole? On the Wish App, you can see more stats from what people have written about that item. For example, if I wanted to buy a dress I can look at the stats if the dress is true to its size or if I need to downsize or go up a size. I can also look what people have written about the shop. Delivery seems to be cheap for clothes I've not seen a P&P for over £2. 

After looking at what the Wish App has to offer I decided to give it a go. I bought a summer dress (£4), some sunglasses (£2) and some gel eyeliner (£5). They all came within 2 weeks. The dress looks great and I've had a good few likes when I posted it on my Facebook page and other social websites I’m on, but as for the quality for £4 (on sale from £11) is low but for starting out trying to get clothes its fine, and light so you won't sweat in the summer heat... If in the UK we actually get any sun.

The sunglasses again just a start as I've never ever worn sunglasses in my life which I suppose is a bad idea. Since going out last summer and looking at what other women were wearing and friends, blogs, and shops etc. The big sunglasses are in now, so I thought I would look for some. I found the ones I wanted on the Wish App for £2 (On sale from £10). I've not been out in them yet as I've never presented as female when the sun has been out or since I got them. I've tried them on to see if they fit. Again the quality is low but why would they feel expensive at its original price? The thing is at the summer stage I'm in they're a start and I think they look great.

The dress I bought off Wish (£4)

The gel eyeliner was something I've been looking at for ages on eBay but the price was around the £10 mark, again the Wish App came to the rescue and for £5 I was never going to say no, they also come with a little brush to apply the gel with. I've not the Eyeliner yet but will post pics when I do.

I would recommend this app for everything and the app always has sales on and notifies you. I love this app and spend so much time adding clothes to my wish list. The app accepts most major debit/credit cards and my favorite PayPal. You also gain money to spend like a reward scheme and I think I have earned around £2.

And Cream

This is a bit of an update to my "Shaving" posts. Last time I spoke about it was about changing razors and two the Wilkinson Sword: Extreme 3 (female Razors) and the results was awesome but when you catch yourself boy do you. Now I've changed the shaving cream. I used to use Gillette's Fusion (men’s) which was okay but would never last me a month, and never really helped my skin too much. Now I've decided to go expensive... Or have I?

So I went to the Body Shop in town where I live, and I was with my friend where I inquired about shaving cream. I managed to get some samples of "Maca Root Shave Cream" (for men) which I then heard the saleswomen saying to my friend that the cream was great for legs. You know that twitch your brain does when something awesome just hits you? It hit me and I thought "that’s the one”. I tried the samples and it worked really worked well on my face, and still kept my face moisturized after I shaved.

When I got paid I when straight to the Body Shop and bought it, but I knew this shaving cream was for the whole of my body and I thought about taking a gamble and told her about being Bi-Gender and told her what I need the cream for and also what about moisturizing cream for after the shave. It went down a treat, she was lovely and pointed me to the best stuff, and unfortunately, I was on a strict budget so for the first visit that day, but I also got "Hemp Body Butter." The smell might not be the best but the results are awesome, and I would recommend it. It keeps your skin moisturized for a couple of days after you apply it.

Maca Root Shave Cream cost £9 

I've been using these for a month now and not used much and I use these both all over my body. They did cost a bit but I've not used much of both and I think I will get around 2/3 months out of the Shaving Cream and 2/3 months of the Body Butter which I've seen so much improvement in my skin after using both. I think regards to the Shaving cream I'm breaking even or if not saving money maybe a little but it's a saving, plus the shaving cream is worth every penny. I would like to point out everybody is different and results might not be the same as mine.

That day I couldn't help but go back to the shop and as they knew about me being Bi-Gender I bought some make-up brushes £50 and a powered foundation base which is really working well, I will do a post on them soon. I signed up to the reward scheme that they're doing and got a free cream/gel thing for my eyelid when I want a relaxing spa which should have cost around £5.

Thanks for reading.