Hi all!

It's been a while since I posted anything and its been a rough time that I've been going through, The news on that is that the illness I've had is pretty much gone and I'm turning back to the person I was. The other news is the gender switching is also back... And is back with vengeance.

It was over 3 months where my gender didn't switch it didn't switch where I didn't feel feminine at all, but now my illness has gone my female side wants to play again. It weird as I feel more confident as female more than ever, I've been out twice in a month and another trip to Blackpool with one of my closest friends and for the first time in public wearing a dress and not jeans, which I've only worn twice this year one of them was for a mooch around my estate.

Even though this is sounds positive and all great :) yey go me... It's not.
The uncomfortable feeling of being in the wrong body and not being able to wear my leggings, dresses and boots take it's toll. The worst thing about it all is when it comes to where I need to go back to being male before bed time. I've never really took notice of how I look when I've been taking my make-up off before and on the first night it triggered and I felt feminine for the first time in over 3 months I saw pretty much where I had half of my face with make-up off and make-up on and it was frightening. I saw the two sides of perfection and awful, Truth and lies, real and fake. More importantly beauty and the beast. One side was the make-up I saw beauty not in a vein way as in that side I look stunning but I saw peace and no flaws, no redness in the skin, I saw not spots or anything, it was ivory coloured smooth skin. On the other the beast where redness was where my skin reacted to where long stubble. The redness in general, blackheads and the odd spot. My skin as male doesn't look even as my other side did. I've never really looked at my face before as I was taking make-up off, it was head in a wet wipe and rub it off that way then had a wash using soap to remove the worst of the make-up like the mascara, and eye liner etc but that day it hit me.

Since losing weight and posted my pictures on social sites I'm on the attention I've been getting has been mental. Some has been good some has been the weird pervy people. I can only really take this as a compliment really and not get pissed of with it. I suppose with the attention I've been given I have to think along the lines of "I must be doing something right."

Back To Blackpool

After presenting as female twice I thought I needed to get out and I really wanted to take my River Island boots for a test walk. Luckily my friend was at hand and was willing to drive and wanted to get out all so. He knew that he would be seeing me as female which didn't bother him and he's very supportive of it. We ended up setting off around 9pm only for us to get stuck in a traffic jam due to an accident on the motor way where we was at a standstill for around 45 mins watching youtube videos which made the time past quickly.

We arrived in Blackpool where because of being stuck I needed to go to the loo... A repeat of what happened last year or what?
It was a trip to the ladies room again which unlike last year I wasn't nervous. It was busier and the bathroom had more people in than  last time even little children. Which still didn't bother me It was all about just going to the loo and getting the hell out of there.

Right: Blackpool September 28th 2014

Left: Blackpool November 7th 2015

Blackpool was pretty cold because of the wind I was wearing my black dress from New Look with a leather fur jacket, black leggings and my River Island Smart OTK boots and they was really comfy and looked great with my outfit and I felt like I got everything right from makeup, to the hat and the clothes, I wasn't really cold when the wind wasn't blowing I was just right.

After out small walk we decided to get in the car and drive further up the promenade and I asked to stop and have a few more pictures which I think went well and the picture worked out better.

20% Off Everything At New Look

I got an e-mail during the week for a flash sale at New Look which was 20% of everything for 3 hours, Took to it straight away spending over £50 and could of spent so much more, think when I added everything together it came up to over £100 even with the discount. But I saved less that £20 which I think is a good saving.

The light doesn't do the picture justice but is more lighter red than this.

With the apricot dress and red OTK boots the total savings came to £18.99.

This was my first time was wear a red type dress as there are what some bloggers and makeup artist class as rules to wearing makeup with red dresses. So we're talking about no bright colours for eye shadow, some bloggers have said don't use any for me that that is a no no. The colour recommended are neutral colours, so like blacks, browns, whites, silvers, gold and a pale peach I've seen a few mention. I have all these colours in a pallet but they're away still in my loft, luckily I have a few brown colours when I brought my No.7 makeup bag last year which came in handy as the main colours I have is purple and blacks, which I could of used if I would of spent time with which I couldn't be bothered and wanted to stick with the browns as I haven't used them in a while.

Lipstick, yes I researched what lipstick to use also as I knew it would come in to play, when it comes to red dresses they are a statement and if you apply bright colours you taking the attention away from the dress. Anyway I knew people have worn red lipstick with the red dresses but I thought that look wouldn't be right for me and for my main look with the footwear I wanted my main outfit to feature the red OTK boots which with red lipstick for me is a no no and I'm not wearing a fancy cocktail dress.

I thought I would try my River Island OTK boots and this dress so goes with it, it dress down the boots really well.

I bought some boots on Ebay by Gucci and I love them but they don't fit to well which Means I will have to sell them :(

Dysphoria 

After looking on blog sites it was recommended that pinks, nudes are the best. Red lipstick is for those who can pull it off or who are confident, for me I don't think red lippy works for me so pink was the only colour I wanted plus it dresses the whole outfit down, I wanted a causal look and an outfit that would keep me warm, which this dress does, and with long sleeves it covers up my masculine tattoos and my hairs on my arm because I've not shaven in a couple of weeks as I got a couple of nasty lacerations due to shaving... mainly using the wrong shavers ha ha.

These new looks after a break away where my gender did switch I think has been great, I gave me more time to myself as male but it's let me come back with newer ideas, newer techniques, new ways of being creative with makeup. I've also tried dying my hair which kind of worked twice...Ish.

But the thing with being Bi-Gender is there are bad that outweigh the good, that is the dysphoria that comes with it. The first time I presented female and it came to where I had to go to bed and taking the makeup off started my dysphoria off so bad I broke down into tears. Normally I don't pay attention to my face in the mirror and just pretty much do two step ways of taking of my makeup. They are using baby wipes to wipe off the worst of the makeup and getting the mascara off and eyeliner and then washing my face with warm water and soap. It was when I was using the wet wipes I wiped half of my face and saw a massive difference. I saw my female side and my male side and I saw how difference we was in looks, but then I found perfection come paired to my male side of the skin. Because of the foundation, the creamy contour kit I have, the foundation powder, blusher and bronzer I use I saw not an issue with my skin it look great and the other half was red blotches as in with the dry skin as it normally is and was an uneven colour. it looks a mess and the female side was all beauty and calm, it really got to me how I felt about myself as male and how many flaws that I saw.

Since then I try my best not to look into the mirror as male as I don't want to see this skin and remember how different I looked to when I had makeup. Men are now wearing makeup and I think MAC has launched its makeup for men (not totally sure on that) which I will never do, but I know men do wear foundation and makeup in general now, so I could probs get away with it but I don't want to fall into that as I spend to much on my self as female and just spent £50 on two items of makeup which I will reveal soon.

Thanks for reading

Sarah

Hey all!

This post I suppose is a sad one... Or maybe not. This week has been a hard week mentally as I've had so much to think about and one of these was about my female side. It hasn't triggered where I felt feminine, where I felt normal wearing the clothes, the makeup etc. That was in July. I've presented as female twice since then but it was forced and both times, I struggled to do my makeup and wasn't happy in who I was.

When my gender changed and I was all done up ready "put on my face on" as some females say haha, I felt genuine, I didn't feel any part of me was male, and me as Nick wasn't there. It was all about Sarah and was who I was, but the two times I forced it this month I felt Nick in a drag, and it felt wrong and I felt sick. As Sarah I could happily take loads of pictures and put them in my journey folder on my pc, I found myself back at the start. It wasn't a good feeling, It was like in films where someone with powers just lose them, I couldn't do makeup, I lost my confidence and felt I lost my confidence in front of a camera (not in a vein way) I just felt proud of who I was and those powers that I had and worked so hard at just went.

Clothes and makeup

Within the short time I watched where I keep my clothes (it has 8 compartments) go from 8 to 4 and on my door I watched my coats go from 1 jacket and 1 coat to 3 jackets and 5 coats (As male I still had only the one jacket and the one coat) As male I felt discomfort and felt extremely guilty buying male clothes, it was if I had to ask for permission to buy myself male clothes with my own money and from my own bank account, but the female side was like "dresses! dresses! dresses!" and "SSSHHHOEESSS/BBBBOOOOTTTTSSSS!" etc. I'm now free of that, it felt I was having an adventure looking for female clothes and makeup and was so much fun.

I'm not a person that regrets things whether I'm male or female, but I do regret not pushing myself to go shopping as female. I watch my friends (who are female) take pride in the items that they're looking at, one of them has to feel the products she touches, which as female I can understand loads but as male I feel sorry for the clothes as I feel that they're getting a humans equivalent to a strip search to see if they pass selection and get picked.

With makeup I never got the chance to test them at shops, put foundation on my hand and see how it blends in... Well that's not totally true as I came out to the people at the body shop when I went for cream to help my skin for after shaving. They was happy for me and honoured as I went to them first and we tested out a powdered foundation on my hand and tested this special lipstick on my hand as well which turned to a pink or a purple depended on you skin type, but I never got the chance to do it at major stores like Debenhams, Super Drug just to name a couple.

Facebook Hiatus

With everything not going well for me in every way I've not been, well having a stressful time as male and my female side nowhere to be seen, I've decided to deactivate my female Facebook account for the foreseeable future. I don't see the point in having an active profile where I won't be using it and where I could use it to hide my male statuses from people I didn't want to see. When my female side becomes more active I will reopen account.

I will keep doing this blog though and if my gender triggers and switches I will blog about it on here.

I would like to say for people to keep being who you are.
Be hated for who you are and not loved for someone your not.
Your all beautiful never let anyone in this world tell you your ugly.

Thank You

Hey guys!

This is a new type of post one that I never thought I would do and that is working/teaming/testing blogging with companies/brands, and for this post it is all about Coloured Contact Lenses from a company called Spooky eyes, which I have teamed up with and they've sent me some contact lenses to try. Hope you enjoy reading

Spooky Eyes is a company that deals with Contact lenses, which can be used for fancy dress/cosplay/professional use and I suppose everyday use if you wanted. The site has a huge collection of contact lens to choose from and so many that I actually like. I like the layout of the site, everything is categorised so you can quickly navigate to the type of contact lenses you're looking for. For my friends that cosplay especially I strongly recommend that you check this site out, as Spooky Eyes do accommodate for you.

www.spokeyeyes.com

Intro

I've never lied on this blog and never will, this is the first time I've ever worn contacts lenses and I will admit before trying the contact lenses in I did feel nervous with something in my eye. I know they're safe as I many of friends have worn contact lenses for fancy dress and I follow people that cosplay loads who wear them a lot.

When picking my contact lenses I knew that I wouldn't be going for anything to do with cosplay/fancy dress, as I wanted natural colours but something bit different but that something that I feel wouldn't be over the top and which I could use and not look out of place when wearing them normal clothes and which change the appearance of my iris.

My Picks

Normal Natural lenses

These are my top 3 picks which I would happily on a normal day.

Aqua Glamour Contact Lenses

These are priced at £16.79 and have a recommended RRP of £19.62

Brown Sparkle Contact Lenses

These are prices at £19.59

Green Sparkle Circle Lenses

These are price £19.59

Top pick for fancy dress

Aino Sailor Moon Contact Lenses

Great for anime cosplay. These are priced at £18.89

i-Glow White Screen Contact Lenses

Great for a night out dressed as a zombie.These are priced at £16.79

i-Glow Yellow Cat Contact Lenses

To dazzle people on your night out dressed as a cat. These are priced at £16.79

All these are available at www.spookyeyes.com so please check this site out as it's is just amazing.

There was so many for me to choose but I would end up flooding this post with them.

Looks And Comfort

My choice was Spin Blue Contact Lenses

This was what I got sent as one of the three choices that I picked. The lenses was comfy and for me my eye didn't water when I successfully applied my contact lenses. I will admit it took getting some used to but after about twenty minutes I quickly adapted to them and went about applying my makeup. The view that I had was just normal and the lenses didn't impair or shorten the wideness of my vision at all and I would happily wear these again. 

Unfortunately the weather when I tested these was awful outside so it prevented me from going out and getting more pictures so I could only really take pictures in my room. I wore these for most of the day though and I actually forgot the contact lenses was still in till I looked in the mirror 7 hours later. 

Conclusion

I would highly recommend using Spooky Eyes to all my friends and family and to every person that is just browsing my blog. If you want to look different or cosplay/fancy dress etc then seriously come and buy from spooky Eyes. I will never recommend anything that I wouldn't like and for a first timer to contact lenses like me with these where was easy to apply.

The box that the lenses come in have instructions but I thought I would post this also for first time users.

Thanks you's

I would like to thank Spooky Eyes on providing me with my contact lenses and having the opportunity to work with you.

I also would like to thank EtailPR on letting me be part of their network and giving me the opportunity to work with brands such as Spooky Eyes.

And thank you to everyone that has come here to read my blog.

I hope to work with other brands soon and post on my blog and watch my journey continue.

This has been a post that is long overdue, 25 November 2014 I did my first “Make-Up” post and was also my second post I’ve done since setting up this blog. Since then my makeup collection has grown not to an epic amount but it’s grown. When I did the makeup post it was mainly just foundation, blending eye shadows, blusher etc and how much I’ve changed from embracing that I’m Bi-Gender but now I’ve started to learn more, and have started to contour also. I’m not going to lie I suck at doing it but I need to practice more. The results aren’t too bad, I feel that I tend to pull off more natural look where there is no shading and highlighting of what contouring should look like.

Discovering my image!

Everyone has an image, not just celebrities, not just cross dressers, drag queens and transgender people, even biological girls and men have an image. This post is purely aimed at women.

Without an image life would be rubbish, we don’t need to be celebrities to have one and for me it’s the most important part of ourselves as it defines us a person, some people take years to perfect the image they see in their heads, some people can come up with an image they like on the spot, some people seek surgery and for others to exercise to build their image, so many ways and lengths people go to get the right image they see.

Creating my image is extremely difficult and one huge reason I hate being Bi-Gender. I love all the feminine side of things with the hips, breasts, and facial features and more but my main Gender is male because that is what I biologically am, I go to work as male and pretty do everything as male regards to shopping and bank etc.

So what have I done to help my image so far?

Before I started to lose weight

During the Wight loss

there's still some way to go

• I’ve lost weight (still ongoing, but is for the best of us both)
• I’ve got better with clothes (clothing is important for your image)
• Better at makeup (to look more feminine, and help to style a more feminine face)

These are just some of the things that I’m going to help me achieve the image I feel that I am as female. I’m still looking into the makeup side of things as there is just loads of ways and techniques for makeup and I think most women mainly in the early days will spend time looking at styles and trying on what suits them and will change slowly as they mature as they age. Which I think I’m quickly doing.

Since embracing being Bi-Gender I’ve come to the conclusion that dark foundation isn’t for me and looking like a tangerine is not for me as I just see myself having green hair like an Oompa Loompa with heels and being 6 foot tall. This for me is too fake and wouldn’t help me feel like a real woman.

I do feel like I’m for the more natural pale side of makeup so I go for Ivory colours of foundation sometimes slightly darker depends on what I want to do at that time as when I use a darker tone of foundation I tone it down by using a lighter powered foundation, which I’ve noticed and looked doing it up helps to keep the foundation on which I’ve had loads of trouble doing. Most of the times when I present female and use my makeup I go as natural as I can as I never leave the house and if I do which has been at night I do it to blend in with people, not to get looks and draw attention which I can’t be bothered to have so I use makeup as it’s intended for so these are the main reasons I and many people use makeup;

• Making skin look healthy
• Shaping the face (for me more feminine look)
• Giving a natural look
• I hate spots (even as male) so a great way to conceal them from the rest of the world seeing
• Gives me more confident 

Again there’s more which I can’t really think about at the moment but overall to make me feel more feminine.

My makeup

When I showed my collection of makeup I had a makeup bag which was half full, set of lipsticks which were crap, lip-gloss, concealer, a box of makeup I didn’t use and a black case with loads of colors of eyeshadow in. I still have the bag and the case of eye shadows, but the box with the makeup I don’t use is now long gone.

Since then I have a more practical makeup box from Boots No.7 range with brushes and makeup that came with it, the bag I still have but is extremely full, still got the makeup lipsticks that I don’t really use and any more. I really love makeup if you can't tell already.

This was my collection

These two are a Wish App buy, they're gel eyeliner which you have to use a brush for which are supplied with them. Cost around £4 and is amazing.

These are the eyeshadows I got which is from Boots No.7... Which for me is awful and doesn't work for my skin.

This is my new purchase from the Wish App was £0.99, I've not used it yet and never used a pencil liquid eyeliner.

 My Birthday is coming

September is coming and that means my birthday 11^th September. I’m planning a massive night out on 12^th September which is on a Saturday where I’m thinking of booking a hotel and exploring Manchester Canal Street. I’ve only ever been to one club in Manchester which is called Satan’s Hollow, which is kind of awesome as it’s only round the corner of Canal Street, not a couple of mins from where my hotel is if I can get a room for the night.

I’m planning on inviting all my friends to come and party with me as I'm might think about presenting as female and what a perfect time to do it. This will be the first for me being in a city and going for a night out as female. I hope I can get as many people as I can to go and hopefully will be a great night, I intend to live it up to the max. I see it if I’m female why the hell not, I will start to plan next month so I can book a hotel because at the moment I need to get my trip to York sorted as I’m going to watch Bullet For My Valentine, so I will need to make sure I have my hotel booked and train journey which is around £54 open return. Whether I go as female to that Gig I have no idea it’s a new place I know nothing about (Apart for William Wallace sacking it many hundreds of years ago) and I’ll probably be hitting the clubs hopefully heavy metal/rock clubs if there is any.

For my birthday look, I’m planning to venture out of my comfort zone of makeup, with my outfit I’ve been told by a few friends that I have to wear my black lace type dress with my leggings and over the knee suede boots. So now it’s time to think about my facial appearance. When it comes to eyeshadows and lipstick etc. 

For my birthday look, I’m planning to venture out of my comfort zone of makeup, with my outfit I’ve been told by a few friends that I have to wear my black lace type dress with my leggings and over the knee suede boots. So now it’s time to think about my facial appearance. When it comes to eyeshadows and lipstick etc. For me, I normally blend eyeshadows from light to dark and normally it’s white to black or light brown to dark brown with black eyeliner winged at the ends, with lipstick normally a light natural pink nothing special. The one thing I don’t have is any colors that make a statement… Well, when it comes to the quality it doesn’t. 

All I know is that the dress will be going if it should happen but with the belt/without and with shoes or boots and will need a bag to go with it.

Between now and my night out I will be testing loads of makeup brands that aren’t overly expensive so sorry MAC you’re going have to wait. I will be looking at BarryM, MUA, Max Factor, Maybelline New York, and Rimmel London to name a few but someone in my family has now just started with Avon so I'm going to give them a try.

I suppose I'm hyping this up really but there is nothing saying I won't go out as female yet, I won;t just dress up for the sake of it, nor will I force myself to do something. If it does happen I will make sure my makeup will be flawless as I have 3 months to prepare if it does for the best foundation, eyeliner, eyeshadow and lipstick/lip gloss. People can say to me "you're going to the gay village/canal street they have everything there." That might be so but it's about how I will feel on the day. I can't say that I will feel female for that day and I don't want to force it if I don't I just want people to be there well for me to have a great time and celebrate something I don't and haven't celebrated for almost 20 years because apart from family I've never really had the chance to celebrate my birthday with, which leads me to another thing. Who would they be celebrating my birthday with? Nick or Sarah?

Avon

I’ve had two Avon product and both were awful which was liquid eyeshadows but it was when I first started out and I bought off eBay. I was extremely naive with makeup and Avon was the choice at that time and which popped into my head as my mum used to be an Avon rep. 

I’ve not got any products currently of Avon’s but I have the Brochure and I’ve looked through it… OMG, I was overwhelmed I think I have started a wish list as I have 9 items and it comes to £45.50, something that I will be looking to see if I can bring it down as I set a budget of around £30.

• Liquid Foundation – Ideal Flawless £6 (Half price so I’ve got that down in two shades of Ivory and creamy Natural)
• Lipstick - Ultra Colour Bold Lipstick Power Plum £4.50 (like a purple color which is what I want and I don’t have any quality lipsticks)
• Makeup Setting spray £2.50 (loads of makeup artist recommend this after applying makeup and at £2.50 why not)
• Powdered Foundation - Calming Effects Loose Powder Foundation £5 (You can’t just have one powered foundation that’s just stupid) wishlist***
• Powdered Foundation – Ideal Flawless Cream-to-powdered foundation £6 I’ve chosen this one
• Contour foundation – Blush to Bronze Trio £6 (Something I need as the Contouring kits I have are like creamy and I will use them by September)
• Mascara – SuperExtended Winged out Mascara (I don’t have enough mascara and the issue is mainly down to quality which the No.7 is okay for me but not brilliant)
• Conditioning Eye Make-up Remover Lotion £4 (Something that I don’t really need but will try as most times when I wash my makeup off from around my eyes the skin does go dry and does feel like it’s burning so I have to use cream to rejuvenate the skin) wishlist*** 

After looking at this list I can take two things off and add for the following month so my total comes to £36.50 so only £6.50 over budget. I really hated looking through this brochure mainly because I was like a child in a sweet shop I just wanted most things but I will have to look into more eyeshadows when I get the next brochure as I want a to go purple to match the lipstick I have.


Now I have a new thing that I enjoy and love which is makeup, not because it makes me feel more feminine, not because it takes away my bad flaws in my skin which I'm still not brilliant at doing haha. It's what you can do with makeup that I love, it's how creative you can be. It's an art and a culture that I want to be apart of more and more. I'm a person that tries to make myself look natural with my makeup as I can and will push the boundaries trying to keep the natural look. 

I can only say there will be many more makeup posts as I know that I will be buying much more but also binning more as most of these don't actually work awesomely for me, they do the job but the more I makeup I buy the more I will get to experiment. My best buy out of all my makeup would be the powder base from The Body Shop and the Eyeliner from the Wish App. The eyeliner stays on and with the brush that comes with it which really helps to reshape how you want your eyes to look and for me helps me to stop blinking loads which frustrates me loads. The Body Shop's Foundation Powder Base is great for applying after you used liquid foundation, for me it just works, it smooths out the liquid foundation that you used and it gives a great finish that keeps the foundation on your face as sometimes I've found in the past that the foundation like runs off my face and just transfers onto everything so easy and will last only a few hours before having to top up everything.

This is my makeup collection now.

Thanks for listening and I will post more updates that could possibly be for my birthday look.

Bonjour all!

This topic is about "Wish And Cream." It's not a rude as it sounds haha. It's a two-part post talking about the Wish App and some cream I picked up from the Body Shop.

Wish

The Wish App has been gaining popularity these last few months in the UK. I know it has been in the US at least since 2013. I thought I would check it out and see what it was about. After downloading it asking for you to set up and account and all that lah de dah stuff. It then asked you to pick what things you’re interested in, clothes (male/female), types of clothing, gadgets and home stuff... Well, everything really. Then you pick your choices, think you can pick as many as you want. The app will then post deals or items based on what you selected that you want to buy. 

All the stuff is from the east to China and Korea are the only countries I've seen, with most of the items I’ve seen on eBay, but this is better than using eBay when it comes to buying from China and Korea. I’m sure if you’ve bought from China or Korea or maybe both sizes are a pain in the ass. Correct me if I'm wrong but on eBay, you can only see the feedback on the shop as a whole? On the Wish App, you can see more stats from what people have written about that item. For example, if I wanted to buy a dress I can look at the stats if the dress is true to its size or if I need to downsize or go up a size. I can also look what people have written about the shop. Delivery seems to be cheap for clothes I've not seen a P&P for over £2. 

After looking at what the Wish App has to offer I decided to give it a go. I bought a summer dress (£4), some sunglasses (£2) and some gel eyeliner (£5). They all came within 2 weeks. The dress looks great and I've had a good few likes when I posted it on my Facebook page and other social websites I’m on, but as for the quality for £4 (on sale from £11) is low but for starting out trying to get clothes its fine, and light so you won't sweat in the summer heat... If in the UK we actually get any sun.

The sunglasses again just a start as I've never ever worn sunglasses in my life which I suppose is a bad idea. Since going out last summer and looking at what other women were wearing and friends, blogs, and shops etc. The big sunglasses are in now, so I thought I would look for some. I found the ones I wanted on the Wish App for £2 (On sale from £10). I've not been out in them yet as I've never presented as female when the sun has been out or since I got them. I've tried them on to see if they fit. Again the quality is low but why would they feel expensive at its original price? The thing is at the summer stage I'm in they're a start and I think they look great.

The dress I bought off Wish (£4)

The gel eyeliner was something I've been looking at for ages on eBay but the price was around the £10 mark, again the Wish App came to the rescue and for £5 I was never going to say no, they also come with a little brush to apply the gel with. I've not the Eyeliner yet but will post pics when I do.

I would recommend this app for everything and the app always has sales on and notifies you. I love this app and spend so much time adding clothes to my wish list. The app accepts most major debit/credit cards and my favorite PayPal. You also gain money to spend like a reward scheme and I think I have earned around £2.

And Cream

This is a bit of an update to my "Shaving" posts. Last time I spoke about it was about changing razors and two the Wilkinson Sword: Extreme 3 (female Razors) and the results was awesome but when you catch yourself boy do you. Now I've changed the shaving cream. I used to use Gillette's Fusion (men’s) which was okay but would never last me a month, and never really helped my skin too much. Now I've decided to go expensive... Or have I?

So I went to the Body Shop in town where I live, and I was with my friend where I inquired about shaving cream. I managed to get some samples of "Maca Root Shave Cream" (for men) which I then heard the saleswomen saying to my friend that the cream was great for legs. You know that twitch your brain does when something awesome just hits you? It hit me and I thought "that’s the one”. I tried the samples and it worked really worked well on my face, and still kept my face moisturized after I shaved.

When I got paid I when straight to the Body Shop and bought it, but I knew this shaving cream was for the whole of my body and I thought about taking a gamble and told her about being Bi-Gender and told her what I need the cream for and also what about moisturizing cream for after the shave. It went down a treat, she was lovely and pointed me to the best stuff, and unfortunately, I was on a strict budget so for the first visit that day, but I also got "Hemp Body Butter." The smell might not be the best but the results are awesome, and I would recommend it. It keeps your skin moisturized for a couple of days after you apply it.

Maca Root Shave Cream cost £9 

I've been using these for a month now and not used much and I use these both all over my body. They did cost a bit but I've not used much of both and I think I will get around 2/3 months out of the Shaving Cream and 2/3 months of the Body Butter which I've seen so much improvement in my skin after using both. I think regards to the Shaving cream I'm breaking even or if not saving money maybe a little but it's a saving, plus the shaving cream is worth every penny. I would like to point out everybody is different and results might not be the same as mine.

That day I couldn't help but go back to the shop and as they knew about me being Bi-Gender I bought some make-up brushes £50 and a powered foundation base which is really working well, I will do a post on them soon. I signed up to the reward scheme that they're doing and got a free cream/gel thing for my eyelid when I want a relaxing spa which should have cost around £5.

Thanks for reading.

Naive definition: Having or showing a lack of experience, judgment, or information; credulous.

Hey All!

This week topic is called: Naive with Summer Blues. Let’s start off with the word Naive.

Naive

Would I describe myself as being naive since learning about being Bi-Gender? The answer is yes and still am now. The picture that I took from then to now shows it all. The thing is every person in this world is naive when they start something. It can be for anything, blogging, starting a new business, starting work, getting a new home etc the list goes on and this is all down to having the lack of experience in the direction that you are going. You can look it up and really research into it... It helps a lot but when it comes too actually doing when you haven't it will show and as you progress you will get better at doing it.

So me starting out yes I was Bi-Gender but I was really a guy in a dress and makeup plus wearing a £7 fancy dress wig (Hate using the word) to now a £80 real hair wig. I would say most people when they realise who they are and start to change the gender roles they will be the same, due to the lack of experience and the other things that surrounds the word naive. As I said in other posts I didn't start off spending big on things that would change my body, looks, and my face being with makeup and even thing that would reshape the outline of my body. Which made me naive as I had the lack of information and experience to do and accomplish the things I have done now.

First ever picture

                                                                                16.4.14    

Christmas Eve before going meeting people

 for the first time as female

24.12.14

Most recent 19.5.15

Even now I look back at the old pictures of me and think about how much I've changed to the women I am now, but even though I started to see an increase of likes in my Facebook profile and other websites I've started to get more noticed and even now I'm still naive to many things. I now feel sorry to women now when it comes to the idiotic men that thinking it's okay to sending you a messages on how much they want to have intercourse with you, some know about me being Bi-Gender which turns them on and some don't. It's great that they see beauty and everything but not all females want an easy time with someone that is desperate... Plus for me I only like females regardless of my gender so unlucky there.  I don't want to be there for you but Redtube is. (it was a favourite/bookmark on my Ex-girlfriend’s PC browser)

Naive with summer blues

Back onto subject at the moment I'm extremely naive to clothes. I love shopping online and the Wish App has really been helpful to me, but I'm not a summer girl so I have so much lack of information on what to wear in the summer, but I'm always checking blogs, Primania, twitter and looking around shops online. Not had the chance to go out looking for inspiration to what other people are wearing. The only thing that is good is that no one has put their boots away yet, I know anytime soon my boots will have to go into hibernation till September. I know boots will be big over the summer but they're the gladiator boots which I will not be a part of the trend, and I know I love my boots but not for the gladiator range.

As for my clothes I've just bought my first official summer dress. At the start of the month I spent ages looking on the Wish App as when it comes to doing new things in this case fashion I will always try to find the cheapest item of clothing to start off with then spend bigger if I like where it's going. So I bought a few items. A black floppy (which has been in for over a year and all seasons also this was off eBay) some sunglasses (Black frame and big) which I've never worn in my life even as male.

The Dress is weird as people on my Facebook have messaged me saying they like the skirt... Yeah its part of the dress. I suppose the reason why it looks like a dress is due to it comes with a belt, which matches the lower part giving it the skirt illusion. The top part of the dress is very plain but that does give me the opportunity to add to it. So a jacket maybe ? Other accessories to make it look less boring? I put black tights and knee boots with them. They are the ones which has a bow on the side for detail, probably the hardest boots I have to walking also. I also styled my hair slightly differently with a sweeping fringe, I think it's called. It's a start and apart from shoes and the other items I mentioned I think I'm going in the right direction might just take a month or two... Or when summer is over.

Overall I don't think being Naive is such a negative word, with me documenting every time I've presented female it has shown me how far I've come to where I am now, even though I still feel that I’m still on the learning path I know that my experiences will change and from the pictures I think many of you might agree I’m on the right path.

Hi all. Hope everyone having a great week!

This week’s post is about identity and image.

Identity

Identity can be used for many things from identifying who a person is, yourself and even an object etc. In my case I’m talking about how you identify... well you. Gender is also how you identify yourself.

Gender Identity

This is for me complicated as it brings so many things and many words to describe how people identify themselves.

Transgender – This is the most common and many documentaries have been made about people that are transgender, the basic is someone that is born as male or female and does not identify as that gender role, and will mostly transition to the opposite gender so the body will match the gender they see themselves and feel. Please note: Not every transgender person will have the full SRS (Sexual reassignment surgery) and that is just keeping simple.

Bi-Gender – A person who fluctuates between men and women genders-based behaviours and identities. Which will identify as both genders (sometimes as a third gender Androgynous) Bi-Gender is under the Transgender Umbrella.

Genderfluid - Gender Fluid is a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of boy and girl. A person who is Gender Fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel more boy some days, and more girl other days. Being Gender Fluid has nothing to do with which set of genitalia one has, nor their sexual orientation.

There are more but again I like to keep things simple because it will make many peoples brain boil and then die… Okay not like that but it keep confusion down.

Bi-Gender

Bi-Gender is hard for me to understand even though I’m Bi-Gender myself. The reason for this is because the people I've spoken to are different. Some have gone on to discover that they are transgender and have gone on to live as the opposite gender. sexuality changes with some people that are Bi-Gender but not all, so for me it won’t change I will always be attracted to women no matter what gender I present. Some people’s personality will change when they’re presenting as the opposite gender again for me it doesn't… I think as I've never been out that many times as female, I tend to drink more alcohol as female though. There are many things with people who are Bi-Gender that can change but for most people that I've spoken to it’s mainly appearance and mannerisms.

Image

When I realised that I was Bi-Gender and decided that I wanted to embrace it rather than fight it and become miserable and crazy as it started to take me… Like really. It started to send me out my mind and I didn't want to go to a place mentally where I was a few years ago. Anyway when you start out you have nothing and it takes ages to get the image you see yourself, from makeup and clothes.

I suppose it’s down to influences also which depends on your appearance. For me it started out as a rocker style girl. I listened to heavier metal, more brutal music. I also had the leather jackets the makeup was quite dark, and clothes was dark and band influenced, plus the people I was speaking to at that at the beginning was gothic so I suppose they had a massive influence on me.

As my journey continued I started to take trips to Manchester and Liverpool for inspiration as the gothic look just wasn't working for me. I started to take mental notes at what other women was wearing and when I got home I would start browsing online stores which I soon started to build a collection of what clothes I wanted… They all sold out by the time I wanted to buy them :’(

I had to then think about alternative styles to the clothes that I wanted in case they would sell out or in my case if they didn't have it in my size. So that is where the Primania (Primark’s website), Twitter came in.

Primania

Primania is a section on Primark’s website where people (around Europe mainly) post pictures of what they were wearing and bought from Primark. Its awesome for finding inspiration for outfits, not only do people post their outfit but sometimes they will post other items that they’re wearing from other stores with prices also. One of the best features of this part is it will ask you “Where did you wear this?” People that have submitted their picture will normally say where they was.  Most are like for dinner with friends or at university etc, but you do get a good few people that are fashion students or love fashion and have blogs just on fashion and will post a link to their blogs, so this is a great way to look into fashion.

With other Items Listed

Twitter

Shops and blogs

Yes twitter is awesome for finding fashion tips, cloth shops, peoples fashion blogs, sales that aren't advertised etc. How did I find this out? By searching by search one single item of clothing. I was looking for styles for boots which I put in the search bar on Twitter, and you get the picture section and you can see people posting picture from a night out etc and you can see what they was wearing with the boots. As long as they mention it (doesn’t have to be a hashtag) you will find them. Also Shops will post picture of that item of clothing also, which is where I found my suede over the knee boots because Pink Boutique posted. You will get Fashion websites also posting “what to wear with…” or “How to wear…” So for me I would see “What to wear with boots” or How to wear boots” etc and the websites will list the dresses, pants and skirts for example.

I will warn you there are pros and cons to it and you will have access to everything doing this method on Twitter, but when I say you have access to everything on Twitter I mean it. Depending on what you put in the search bar will depend on the results and what people you get. Boots which is what I started to put in and research on what to wear with it and what styles there. Unfortunately people see boots as a fetish and you will get women that do sex type web chats for desperate pervy men and will advertise what they’re wearing, some will just post links to the websites, some post pictures… Might work for you if you want to sex it up for your partner I suppose haha, but my point is whatever you search be prepared.

River Island (what I’m Wearing)

River Island have started doing something similar to Primark’s Primania but is more involved on social media using Twitter and Instagram, where you put #WHATIMWEARINGRI

I don’t think it’s as good as Primania but it’s a start. I think River Island’s strong part is when you’re on their site and on an item on the right side it has a section which says “looks good with” and will put other items of clothing that will go with the item you’re looking at.

Apps

Fashionfreax app

If you look hard enough you can find great apps that are out there for fashion. When I’m out and about as I have an IPhone I use an app called “Fashionfreax” It’s like Primania but a social network related to cloths. Add people, comment on people’s outfits, makeup and accessories and you can also post outfits of your own as well.

Fashionfreax app clothes listing

Other places to look (what I’ve not used but know about)

Pinterest – I’ve never really used this but you can post or see what people have pined what styles they like and doesn’t have to do with fashion.

https://uk.pinterest.com/

Bloglovin - Follow your favourite blogs with Bloglovin. Discover what's best in Fashion, Beauty, Lifestyle & more. Sign up or login today & never miss a single post!

https://www.bloglovin.com/

Ebay – If you search for an item of clothing some users put together a portfolio of what they think looks good/or is good. It will have links to the product you want also if you like it or want to more.

http://www.ebay.com

http://www.ebay.co.uk

Physical Image

Image isn't just about clothes, it is also about the shape of your body, and facial features. For me as I’m biologically a male so I don’t have female characteristics such as breasts being the big thing. At first I got a well-padded bra it worked for a short while but it didn't make me feel like the women I saw in my head, so I had to buy breast foams which mine for all my pictures are A cups. At the starting stage I was thinking start small and lay the foundations of how I looked, not going to big on everything, not spending loads of money and thinking why did I buy them. Starting out trying to build your image. I supposes how you look from you body to makeup and clothing its down to trial and error. After taking pictures of how I looked I soon saw that my breast foams wasn't suiting my frame and needed to go bigger, which I have and now have C cups. The journey is never ending and I'm still looking into altering many things and I've noticed it changes with the seasons and will forever be an ongoing process.