What was supposed to be a nice relaxing bloggerthon turned on it's head with the attacks two weeks ago in London and is where I felt in mark of respect was to delay these posts as I didn't feel I could celebrate why there was a tragedy that happened. I felt only like yesterday that I was on that same bridge, and the same side walking across. 

Anyway all I can say is welcome to part 4 of the London and Scotland Tour. 

Last time I spoke about my first day where I met a person called Victoria who I’ve been wanting to meet for some time, but this part is about the reason for my trip. Because this day is Sunday 29^th January as I came to called it “V-Day.” So this day is about watching my favourite band called Versailles, Finally the day has come. A day me and many others have been waiting for. 2^nd October 2011 was the last time Versailles came to the UK. where I and a couple of friends also got to meet them! they saw my tattoo! It was the best day of my life and a day I will never forget.

Before all that thought I had to make it through the day. I woke up early that morning as I wanted to nip into Camden to that meant catching the tube and with it being a Sunday shops in London are weird as they all don’t open at 10:30am like where I live in the North West of England. Some was open before, others between 11am – 12am. The reason I went was to visit the MAC shop which I struggled to find and I think I even walked past it. I thought Camden was weird at night, it seemed worse during the day I mean it in a good weird way.

I took more notice of the shops as they were decorated and had larger models of the items that they were selling, so I saw large models above the shop of Converse shoes, New Rock Boots to name a few. Yes, Camden was very interesting but I think the next time I’m in London I will take my time more.

I went into this little indoor market where they had life size models of horses and people, the floor looked and felt old where I was going to fall through them. The best shop for me was the rave shop called Cyber Dog. I’ve only been in a small rave shop in Manchester which is like a market stall compared to this one. It had loads of fluorescent clothing and décor. It really was a wacky and fun place to be.

Anyway I managed to come across the MAC Shop only for it to open at midday so with over one hour to kill I set off for another MAC shop which I found at St Pancras railway station and bought a concealer and the Diva lipstick which I wore specially for the Versailles gig. I’m not into red lipstick much as I feel it makes you teeth orange or the white. Luckily for me it was white. I also realised that I forgot my set spray so I knew straight away that I needed a new one but I didn’t want another high end one as I still have a full Bottle of Estée Lauder to use… which I forgot.

So I decided to walk another 1.6 miles to a super drug to get the Makeup Revolution set spray, which after I bought that to walk another 1.3 miles to my hotel. It was pretty much nonstop as I decided to walk 1.2 miles to where the venue would be later on. The venue is on a small shopping complex which when I got there something mentally hit me and I mean hard, worse than when I got assaulted in 2009. I had forgot my Versailles tickets. As I was getting ready the day before I remember my dad rushed me and I didn’t do my mental check of what I had and it slipped my mind.

Islington Shopping Centre

Within that moment I felt like my heart stopped I didn’t panic as I thought the box office would have been open, so I went upstairs and to find it wasn’t open. My felt like my heart stopped for a split second I didn’t panic as I thought of one last thing and that was to check online where I bought the tickets to see if they had another option as I would have to spend another £40, but the issue was how would I get the tickets?

Luckily they had an “eticket” option where you would download the app and the barcode would be sent the phone so all wasn’t too bad… Apart from spending another £40 on tickets. Then again people will spend that to see Gaga/Rihanna etc. The Price of the tickets have always bothered me this time around as they were almost if not double what they were last time, and they don’t bring support with them either, but hey I suppose if you love a band or person with music you will go and watch them.

I got there to find a nice little que and decided to talk to people that was there to find out the people at the front was there from 6:30am. That is crazy for a gig that wouldn’t be sold out. After a little something to eat at my local McDonald’s Restaurant it was time to go home have a little nap and get ready for the show.

Even though I bought makeup for the gig I was still unsure about going as female as I was nervous really as I would be doing this completely alone, with no one at my side at all which was alarming to me, but I knew it was something I had to do. When I went to watch Bullet For My Valentine I was filled with regret that I didn’t go as female even though I didn’t plan to and it hurt me so much and I felt like I betray myself and also others, which this time I didn’t want to happen, so I decided stuff how I felt and go as female.

The only thing one was football which was the FA Cup between Manchester United Vs Wigan Athletic so it was some background noise to listen to. The makeup I wore for this was;

Eyeshadow:  Urban Decay Naked 2 Pallet (which I have now got rid of)

Foundation: Estee Lauder Double Wear

Hiding stubble Concealer 1: MAC Studio Finish NW30

Hiding stubble Concealer 2: MAC Pro Longwear NC15

Contouring Pallet: Sculpting & Highlighting Kit

Highlighting: MUA Iridescent Gold

Brow kit: Sleek Brow kit

Lipstick: MAC Rebel

Set Spray: Makeup Revolution

Apart from the Naked pallet I decided to play it safe as I was out on my own I didn’t see the point in going over the top for my first gig as female and wanted to play it as casual as possible. It took me about an hour to get ready, as I didn’t rush as it was raining but I didn’t think it was as bad as it was till I got out. On the Saturday night the boots I wore really did hurt my feet again they’re a size smaller and not fully broken into, which I thought being on my feet for around 4-5 hours with potential walking of 2.2 miles didn’t fill me with confidence. So I decided to go with my Timberland ankle boots with thick tights. As we know I’ve always been one for boots and go pretty much everywhere in them as female but I know that I need to start wearing different types of footwear… Plus these where the only other type of footwear I had that was suitable to wear as my others was suede.

Doing my last check, I left the hotel room to walk outside and the rain was bad. Across from my hotel there was a cash machine and I went to get some cash out and walked back and I was pretty wet. I had no choice but download the Uber app for a cab, I didn’t want to do it but I know it would do me good to do more things as female independently and being in a place way further out than where I live is a great way to start and build more confidently as it will be next to impossible that I will see them again, plus it was only for a short ride. Which I spent pretty much in silence.

After waiting and with a little confusion with the V.I.P que and waiting just over an hour, we were going in and I was searched, I was treated the same as everyone else and when I bought merchandise I was referred to as female I don’t think it could have gone any smoother… apart from forgetting my tickets. We were unable to take pictures during the event which was set by the tour promoters and this was the same as in 2011 when I last went, I can’t really talk about the gig much as I was in a trance, I was going crazy and was swaying and had my arms in the air, people noticed my Versailles Tattoo which I was being asked about by a few people.

At the end of the night I decided to walk home, my feet by this point wasn’t bad but I would say slightly uncomfortable, but on the plus side it was downhill. The weather was raining but not as bad as before… When I say downhill it was moderate till I got to the last part where my hotel was, it was pretty steep and my calf wasn’t half put to the test going down but I made it.

I finally went out on my own as female did more than I set myself to do and I have never been prouder of myself in less than 48 hours but most of all I kept my promise to myself and that was to go as myself to a gig and what made it even more special was that it was my favourite band.

This wasn’t the end of the night and I will cover that on the next part.

Thanks for reading.

Sarah

xxx

Hey guys!

Welcome back to Part 2 of London-Scotland 2017, This part of the trip is about getting to London and what I did before I checked into the Hotel.

All week I had one big thing on my mind and that was; Should I go to London as who I am as female? Or go as male where I could chill out and not worry about anything but possibly regret it later on? It was just 24 hours before I made my mind up that I was going to take the risk and go as male. With all the bags it made perfect sense to go as male and also I had to think about my skin and knowing if I did go as female then I would have to take my makeup off to then shave and reapply it for the night out.

Anyway at 6:10am my train arrived I got on the train and thinking it will be like most first class Virgin Trains where it would be spacious with those lights you get on the side of your table and people coming round with drinks etc... I was soon disappointed. Instead I had to go to the shop when it opened and then claim it by showing them my ticket, I got a chicken wrap with Caesar Sauce which was nice and a Galaxy hot chocolate which was also great. I must admit the train journey was indeed extremely quick compared to most times I've been to London. Then again I had two games on the go, Casino Inc – The Management game on my laptop and Football Manager on my PSP.

What I'm used to having

We arrived in London a little early that expected and was around 8am when I arrived, struggling with all my luggage I knew that I had to find somewhere to store all my things and quick. I looked online for storage places which was between £6-12 per bag… I had 5 bags with me and all was very heavy so I decided to take a gamble and ring my hotel and see if they had any storage facilities till I checked in, the good news is that they did and was free of charge, which I couldn’t believe. So I set off with all my luggage but I couldn’t help but look around and most of the People I saw was carrying at least two small suitcases with wheels on them compared to me which was one large travel case, laptop bag with all my tech, backpack full of makeup and my camera, a bag full of my coats and another bag.

Within around 30 minutes I was there, I put my bags in a room that was secured and I was able to set off. There was always one thing I planned to do and this was to waste time more than anything and that was to visit Arsenal’s stadium, it’s a ground that I’ve always wanted to go to… Unfortunately, they were away during my visit, I did have a second chance which was the F.A Cup draw... which they were also drawn away, but it didn’t stop me from going to have a look around.

I picked probably one of the worst routes to go mainly it was a long route, I could have caught a tube which would of  been one stop but I didn’t and I kept going. I wanted to pass the venue of where I would be going which was O2 Islington which was pretty easy to find. I took in all the building that I would remember, such as the Sainsbury’s, the Vue cinema which I almost went to see a film. I kept going thinking I would find a kfc… I did but it was closed. 

I loved the stadium it looked great and was massive, walking round it seemed longer than the train journey but then again I was in extreme discomfort as I need a trip to the loo. Highbury I was shocked at as it wasn't really a nice place... well the way I walked in it wasn't but it was great to get out and explore.

I got back to the Hotel about 11:45 which I had a nice walk but was tired. Thankfully I had a great hotel receptionist that was awesome. I decided to take peoples advice I was given on various social network platforms and decided to declare I was trans not full time and they will see me going to and from as male/female. The Hotel receptionist was great and reassured me that it was fine and in London you can get away with pretty much anything, she checked my room on the computer and said my room was ready and I was checked in early so a win all round.So I went in my room and unpacked… boy was that a chore with the amount of stuff I had, I soon hit the hey for a power hour.

For this part I'm going to leave it there as this post will be too long otherwise. Join me in a couple of days when I talk about meeting up with an awesome trans girl and my night out around Camden and what else I got up to.

I can’t wait to share more with you all, join me in a couple of days for part 3 of my London-Scotland 2017 Trip.

Thanks for reading

Sarah

Hey guys!

On this post, I get my Versailles tattoo spruced up! And we talk about London! 

Yes, January on this blog it’s all about London and going to watch my Favorited band called ‘Versailles’ and what I plan to do while I’m there, but what I’ve not spoke about is the preparations. My train is at 06:09am and I will arrive in London around 08:17am. Now as we know I’m not full time as female yet which means the two choices;

Going as female;

02:30am/03:00am Getting up and Bath and full shave

04:00am get ready with makeup

05:30am last min checks

06:00am be at the train station ready for the train

06:09am The train sets off

This could be a hard part of the trip if I get too warm I will sweat under the wig and have nowhere to go and cool down.

08:17am Arrive in London

Spend 3hr 43mins in London with all my luggage and there will be a lot.

12:00pm (Midday) Check in

This is where the problem is! I might get asked questions because I won’t match the card and name I paid with.

12:10pm (hopefully)

I will be in my room and would have to get unpacked and also I would have to take all of my makeup off to shave my face again then to reapply my makeup.

14:00/15.00pm Out to London

Looking round London quickly for nightclubs to go to. As female that is it loads of hard work.

As male;

05:30am Wake up

Check that I have everything

06:00am Arrive at train station

06:09am Train sets off

08:17am arrive at train station and look for bar or source of entertainment and kill time.

12.00pm Check in at my hotel

12:10pm Unpack and run bath

Will have a full body shave and apply makeup

2pm off out I go

There is so many pros to go as male than as female, I would less likely run into any trouble and misunderstanding with anyone at the hotel. I would be seen for how I’m presenting more and with the luggage it will look more genuine… There is one big thing in the way though REGRET.

Even though it will be easier to go as male it would just work out better for me to present female when I arrive in London, the issue is. Will I regret not being myself and travelling as female? This will probably not happen again or not for a long time anyway.

It’s a case of Connivance Vs Pride.

What makes it hard was I rang to hotel as I thought it had the self-checking services which it turns out it doesn’t so I would have to talk and out on my own it’s something I don’t want to do. All I can do is wait and see how I feel.

Now one thing I have pride in myself it’s my Versailles Tattoo that I have and the band saw it when they last came. there is one issue... That was in 2011 which means that my tattoo has faded it’s kind of grey rather than black, the band is refreshed and I thought I should do the same with my tattoo… So I did.

The Tattoo was first done by one of my besties father which will always live with me as it was seen by the band and this will never leave me, also they  might not see my tattoo this time as the band have this weird V.I.P package which I couldn't find anywhere and when I tried to sort it out it said I had to be a resident of Japan?????  Anyway, I wanted to do something else to my tattoo and spruce it up a bit and for this I needed a professional, which for me I didn’t want just anyone do tattoo my most important tattoo. For this I was to trust a friend I’ve known from High school, a person that tattooed names like Steve-O (jackass), Bam Margera (Jackass and another one of my Idols) and Sam Tomkins (Wigan Warriors, Rugby) to name a few. The person had to be Chris Burwin.

Top right: Sam Tomkins. Middle Left: Steve-O. Bottom right: Bam Margera (Before his issues)

My Tattooist is also Trans, which we decided to both go as female, it's awesome that she can just go as female to work and not give a rats ass. I have to say what a choice I made for going as myself and going to Alchemy Tattoo Studio it was awesome as no one in the shop was bothered and the staff was great and was offered a drink a few times which I decided to have water. It was a great experience so if you want a tattoo place that is LGBT friendly Alchemy Tattoo Studio in Wigan is the place to go.

And finally I need a new dress and I need some new boots… Okies not boots but every footwear post I do I’m on a never ending quest for the best. So my 12-hour search has started and if the arrive on time I can’t wait to show you.

Will be posting about my trip to London and Scotland

Thanks for reading

Sarah

xxx

London

Hello and welcome to today’s post and is another special post and it's to do with planning a trip to London. I’ve been to London a good few times and stayed over most of them, but I’ve never really done longer than twenty-four hours. I’ve been to Wembley to watch two NFL games with the New England Patriots which are my favourite team and with Wigan Athletic twice in the FA Cup Semi Final and the Community Shield and once to watch my favourite band Versailles at Islington which I have the bands name tattooed on my arm.

This time it’s not just a trip and staying for 24 hours in London, it’s for 3 nights and four days, but it doesn’t just stop there. The reason for my trip is to watch my favourite band for a second time… Versailles are back!

Last time went with two girls that I worked with and they're awesome, and it was a trip that I will never forget, because I was with people I liked and the band that I loved but we got to meet them and it has to be one of the best moments of my life, but it wasn’t just that which made it the best moment but having to share that moment with them and also to celebrate it together. This time I will be going to the gig alone which is sad but at the same time I’m used to it, but then again you don’t really talk or interact with anyone at gig really once it starts. When the music starts I get into a trance sometimes so deeply the world just doesn’t exist.

My last Versailles gig was in 2011, and the year after they released and album didn’t come to the UK or even Europe I think and decided to split and to do different things until last year 2015 they announced that they were coming back! Since coming back they didn’t really release much information, a new album but it was just a collaboration of songs they did plus a few new ones but not something you can call new album but hell they’re coming back and it feels awesome.

So it’s a gig and spending three nights and 4 days there, so what’s so big about it?

Well its massive for me because the last time I was in London l I never really knew about my gender or myself, I never really felt anything because I was this unemotional asshole that was forcing any feelings I had at all away, this time I have options to go as female or go as male… or screw with the reception at the hotel and do a mixture.

Anyway 29^th December came where I had something I was missing in my bank account and that was money so I could book my hotel and train tickets. When I look for a hotel I generally don’t care what it looks like as I’m pretty much just put my extremely baggy jeans on, band tee-shirts, hoodies and most importantly chains kind guy. So booking a hotel this time had to be different.  My requirements are pretty simple though. A massive reception desk so I don’t have to interact with the hotel staff, A self-check-in and a well lit room and a bloody good mirror. Seriously how hard can it be?

Why do I need all these?

I’ve decided that I need to build myself up for next year as I’m yet to do most things independently. I’ve caught a bus on my own and waited on a park bench but that is it. So the choices I’ve decided on are to set myself up and be female if I want to.

Why the big reception area?

This is because ‘if’ I decided to check-in as female/venture out as female etc I don’t want to interact with people I’ve never met. For me it’s about baby steps and putting the foundations in place which many people don’t understand, once the foundations are set then you can do more and build up. With a bigger reception area I don’t have to walk near the desk and for the staff to say “Hi” or “goodnight” etc. I know that might sound moody of me but I don’t want to talk back to them really with my untrained voice.

A Self-Check-In?

This is quicker and apparently it will give me a key so that means it is quicker (unless the thing breaks) or most importantly if it does work it means I don’t have to talk to anyone.

This isn't the ones at my hotel but will be similar.

A well lit room?

I plan to pack both sets of clothes which means over 10 days’ worth of clothes as I might need to come back and change if I want to meet up with someone and go out for the evening I will want to go smart/smart causal. I will need to pack male shoes/trainers. Which I only have one of each or as female god knows how many boots and shoes (depending on the weather) I will need dresses, skirts, tops, makeup (I have loads of it), bras, underwear etc. For my male side jeans tops and if I find a gym I can pay for one or two sessions/maybe a jog some track suit pants. That is to name a few.  Anyway A well lit room is just for doing makeup and the mirror? Well I don’t need to talk about that.

Which hotel did I pick?

The stay in London isn't just all about Versailles as they're just the one night and after how I felt not going as female to the Bullet For My Valentine gig was massive. One thing I forgot to mention was Distance. I plan to go to the event as female so I will be wearing heels probably my boots for this and I tend to go to que up early also which means standing up for about 4-6 hours so I will need comfy shoes where I won’t want to take them off while I’m in the venue.

So I decided to go with Travelodge: London Kings Cross Royal Scot. It wasn’t too far and had everything I wanted and I decided to go all out and go for a double room, which mean I would get;

A king size bed,

A bath and shower, Some with wet rooms (I should get a bath which I prefer so I can shave my body in)

This should be hopefully mine.

A TV (might take my xbox haha)

A good size desk which means I could do my makeup and also write a post-up on here.

Blogging space

A plus side to this location was just the one, it had great attraction links to most things;

London Zoo and the London Eye 1.8 miles away,

The British Museum 0.9 miles away,

British Library 0.5 miles away,

Central London 1.6 miles away,

The Emirates Stadium isn’t far away either,

But most importantly 1.2 miles away from the O2 Academy Islington, and the shopping centre.

I plan to go round London, I plan to go to Harrods, The London Eye, Tower Bridge, The Tower Of London, Buckingham Palace and so many more, I hope to meet with friends that I’ve met on social media also.

What about the night time?

I can’t say whether I will be presenting as male or female but I would like to hit a couple of clubs afterwards. I know the Saturday night at O2 Islington they have Club De Fromage. That is when the the venue becomes a normal night club which plays most of your club music from Lady Gaga to Bon Jovi, but I do like metal music mainly.

The Underworld, seems a promising Venue where they do Rock, Metal and Alternative music so this seem pretty great and best of all, not is it on my side of the River Thames it’s also pretty close to my hotel also. Which I might see myself there for the Saturday I arrive but will have to wait till 11pm when I get in as they have a band on which after checking them out isn’t my thing. 

Electric Ballroom is another place I could go and is also not far from my hotel and is close to The Underworld night club so we will see, I don’t intend on staying in whether it means presenting as male or female. 

Soho, is a place in London that seems to be a great place for the nightlife, but it also seems to have LGBT nightclubs also which include Heaven which supposed to have one of the biggest dance floors in London. It’s still early days yet to find a nightclub but anything can happen but hopefully I will find someone off my Facebook friends to do something and go clubbing with. No matter what I do I will make sure I have a great time and meet up with people and have a good laugh, so with this I can do is think ahead.

There is one thing I do have an issue with and that is my hair, if I go out with my wig that I’m currently using then I will bump into an issue with overheating. Under my wig it can get very hot indeed and with no time left to order a new one it is to turn to my lace front that I’ve never worn out properly. When I’ve tried it it feels great, not to heavy, and where I won’t get to hot in it also so I’m thinking of taking a gamble, this means taking it to a hair dressers and getting them to do it which might cost just as much as getting a new wig as I will not wear synthetic wigs anymore, not because they don’t look real or anything but because I don’t feel as authentic as I do with real hair. The hair gives me the most confidence and I think this lace front I need to try more and get it used, again we will see what happens.

That is it for this post, thanks for reading and I can’t wait to go to London and also share the story with you all.

Thanks
Sarah

xx

Versailles Are Back

Hey all,

This post is a side bar from my upcoming posts and my post “Music Part 2.” Is long over due.

Today before noon Versailles UK street team posted a video from youtube and a quote “Our clan's blood will nonstop forever.” With the Youtube video.

Are they really getting back together?

As many people that know me Versailles are my all-time favourite band. I’ve seen them live and was lucky to meet them, and I also got the chance to show them my tattoo, which was 2^nd October 2011. It’s was priceless, but in 2012 they announced that they was going on hiatus at the end of the year, which really hurt me as before I heard their music I wasn’t in a great place mentally. I was always depressed, wasn’t having a great home life and having the worst time at work. I also became aggressive not really to people but I was hitting walls, metal cabinets so I probably imagine I wasn’t great to be around at that time also.

That’s where Versailles came in when I found them. My first song I heard off them was called Zombie which I fell in love with and over time I started to listen to their music. I couldn’t understand the lyrics apart from the few songs they did sing in English as the rest was in Japanese, but you could sense what the music was about without translating the lyrics. I felt warm, happy and chilled and soon I slowly started to feel better mentally, but had that other help when I started to study Bushido.

 Zombie

I felt motivated by their music and they was regularly blasted out of my headphones everyday walking to work or in my house (I rarely listen to music through speakers, it’s something I find personal and listen to it full blast through my headphones)

Even after they broke up 3 years ago I still listen to them loads, they are also the only band where I have bought all their music hard copy and bought their tour collections. The last concert they did I spent over £100 which I got a hand signed pamphlet. Since then it’s all been about following them on twitter, Facebook, Teru’s blog and other social media formats. I’ve never given up hope for them to get back. I knew that they would at some point they would, as they’ve been a part of each other’s concerts and I think Teru, Hizaki, Yuki and Masashi recorded with Kamijo in some of his solo work. I know Masashi toured with Kamijo. I know he was on Kamijo’s European tour which I should have gone to watch when he was in London.  

My Favourite song "The Lovers"

Last month Jupiter’s website announced that Yuki and Masashi was leaving the band and will play their last concert next April 2016, with both saying they want to continue and expand on their work as bass and drummer. That kind of hit me thinking… “This must be a sign that Versailles are getting back together.”

Then I get the news on Versailles. Is this great news to end what was a crappy year?

We will have to wait till 28^th December 2015. I will probably have another post on this when it gets announced haha.

If I don’t post anything before 25^th December I wish you all a Merry Christmas. For my main present I suppose I will have to wait till the 28^th J

I thought I would leave this till last as it's one of Versailles best videos R.I.P Jasmine Yuu

Jasmine Yuu